A farmer walks into the Sears store in the middle of a cold January day and tells the man behind the counter, "I need me one of them thar new auto-matic milkin' machines for milkin' cows."
"That's absolutely no problem, sir", said the clerk. "First, I need to know how may cows you milk".
"Well, I got one milk, cow. Yessir, just the one."
"Pardon me, but why would you want to get an auto-matic milking machine for just one cow? Seems like an awful waste of money."
"Wellssir, let me tell you what happened last evening. I went out to the barn to milk that cow, and it was really cold. Well, I got down there and put the bucket in place, and when I grabbed the teats, the cow kicked me with her left leg, and knocked me clean over. Well, I just got me a piece of rope, and tied her left leg to the nearest post, and went back at it. This time she kicked me with her right leg, and knocked me clean over, again. So I got me another piece of rope, and tied her right leg to another post. Wellssir, the ropes was in my way, now, so I had to get behind her and milk her from back there. When I grabbed the teats, she smacked me across the face with her tail, which was covered with frozen mud, and it stung like heck! So I got me another piece of rope, and I tied it to the end of her tail, and slung it up over a rafter beam. Wellssir, when I did that, two things happened. First, my bib overalls came undone at the straps and fell down around my ankles, and second, my wife walked into the barn to see if I needed any help. And that's why I need one of them milkin' machines."
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