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Old 12-20-2018, 12:45 PM   #2911
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?


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Old 12-26-2018, 07:26 AM   #2912
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Christmas Safety advice for drivers.

Be careful out there chaps, many men will have had too much to drink over Christmas. Therefore they will be getting their wives to drive them!
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Old 12-26-2018, 07:39 AM   #2913
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Re: Christmas Safety advice for drivers.

Actually, that wouldn't be so bad. My wife drives quite well. It's the bachelors out there who bother me, and it has nothing to do with the holidays. In south Louisiana, "Cajun style" drivers are the problem and my wife knows how to defend against them. After all, she IS a Cajun.

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Old 12-26-2018, 08:04 AM   #2914
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Re: Christmas Safety advice for drivers.

Should this be under the Best/Worst joke thread?

If you think they drive bad in New Orleans, you should see the driving in Boston. I only had the honor of being there for a few days for an event, but I have never seen such awful drivers.

And in Florida, people completely forget how to drive in the rain. It rains almost daily.
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Old 12-26-2018, 10:42 AM   #2915
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Re: Christmas Safety advice for drivers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vassago View Post
Should this be under the Best/Worst joke thread?
That's where I thought I'd put it! Obviously too much Christmas cheer! Will correct it now. Merry Christmas to one and all...
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Old 12-26-2018, 12:25 PM   #2916
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

I was just teasing. You didn't need to move it.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday.
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Old 12-26-2018, 05:46 PM   #2917
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

I once saw a survey of the worst USA drivers. Boston, New York City, Washington, Chicago, and New Orleans were in the top 10. I am pretty sure Los Angeles was also in the running and Miami was in the mix. Don't remember the others. Wish that WAS a joke - but sadly it is not.

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Old 12-26-2018, 08:19 PM   #2918
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

Looks like this page is leading up to driving jokes? Dang, I skipped from page 9 to here (195) and will have to paste my notepad text anyway. Hope this isn't somewhere between 10 and here and is in keeping with the original intent:

A psychiatrist out riding on a horse comes across a local man.
"You live around here?"
"Yup" says the local. "Been farming here for nigh on 40 years. What about you?"
"I'm from the city. I work there as a psychiatrist."
They continued to make small talk when suddenly the horse made a sound like a chicken.
"Hey!" says the local. "Your horse just cackled like a chicken!"
"I know. She thinks she's a hen." says the psychiatrist.
"Well you're a psychiatrist. Why don't you straighten her out?"




"I would" says the doc "but I need the eggs."
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Old 12-27-2018, 06:36 AM   #2919
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

Oldie but goodie, Micron.
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Old 01-07-2019, 04:31 PM   #2920
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

Gracefully backing out of a quick statement:
This is only an example - please substitute your own country, city or region with its associated relationship.

A clerk in New York works at a corner grocery. A lady comes in with a Canadian accent. She tells him she doesn't want to pay for a whole head of lettuce - eh?
She asks the clerk to chop it in half so she can pay for half.
The clerk remarks "what am I going to do with a half-head of lettuce"?
And now the arguments, excuses and reasons banter back and forth.
Finally, the clerk realizes he just wants to get the lady out of there and get back to his task. He is afraid of what he might say next, he is so worked up.
So, he cuts it in half, charges her half. She leaves.

Wound up, the clerk goes back to the open office door to get a glass of water where the owner is working on the books.
The owner looks up and says, I could hear the raised voices back here what was up. The clerk describes the Canadian lady's request, how she just kept badgering and the results. He tells the owner I just was short of telling her what I think about Canadians.
The sympathetic owner owner still working says, Yeah, there are only two groups of people in Canada, those on a hockey team and prostitutes.
The clerk is takes a gasp. My wife of 20 years, the one I bring to your house for New Years the last 15 years is Canadian.
The owner doesn't look up - Wow that is fantastic! What team did she play for?
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Old 02-07-2019, 06:41 AM   #2921
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

This picture of this young boy has gone viral and is making everybody laugh.

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Old 02-26-2019, 02:55 PM   #2922
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

lip reading State of the Union Address 2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=066W...ature=youtu.be
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Old 02-27-2019, 01:57 AM   #2923
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

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Old 03-17-2019, 11:19 AM   #2924
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

A trip down memory lane, turn up your speakers!

https://www.facebook.com/9gag/videos/10155340158596840/

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