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Old 07-19-2019, 11:40 AM   #2971
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

I just LOVE This!

https://youtu.be/SA7bKo4HRTg

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Old 07-21-2019, 01:40 AM   #2972
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

With all the talk of moon landings got to thinking...what might it be like to have sex on the Moon? I mean the gravity is different.

For that matter what might it be like to have sex on Mars? Would that be different to the moon?

Then again how about sex on Uranus?
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Old 07-21-2019, 03:26 AM   #2973
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dynamictiger View Post
Then again how about sex on Uranus?
That's never gonna happen!

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Old 07-21-2019, 07:09 AM   #2974
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

That one doesn't work because it's yoor-an-us, or perhaps more like yoor-in-us.
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Old 07-28-2019, 04:59 PM   #2975
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Talking Re: What's your best/worst joke?

The college math department had renovations. The geometry class was moved to the soccer field house. Its January and a full blown snow storm is in. several freshman wake up late, they think the class is across the street and don't bring a coat, runs to his class to find a sign about the relocation across the campus at the field house.
The professor is beginning the three hour lecture. A student comes through the door shivering and teeth chattering. The professor looks at him and says,
Go Stand In the Corner!
Not long after another freshman comes through the door in the same situation, and the professor again orders him Go Stand in the Corner.
Soon after, the 4th freshman pops in and receives the same treatment.
One of the students on the front row raises his hand to ask what is going on?
The professor tells him that it is obvious these students are chilled.

We all know the corners are ninety degrees.
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Old 08-11-2019, 03:00 PM   #2976
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I kissed a girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months holiday and five good leads..."
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Old 08-12-2019, 03:31 PM   #2977
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Re: What's your best/worst joke?

Just west of Austin Texas, a van for a travelling circus broke down and was parked on the side of the interstate. A State trooper rolled up and was greeted by the peculiar sight of three performers, on unicycles, practicing their coordinated juggling. As he stood there in amazement watching these skilled performers toss golf clubs, torches, and a chainsaw back and forth between themselves, he noticed an old pickup truck come up and park behind his cruiser.

To his amazement, the driver of the pickup got out, shuffled somewhat unsteadily to the back of his cruiser, and proceeded to get into the back of the car.

Being the astute officer he was, he proceeded to go up to the now closed door and tap of the winder. The disheveled looking man looked up at him morosely.

“Can you answer me this?” asked the office, “What are you doing in the back of my car?”

“Well officer” responded the man, “I’d heard your pretty strict down here about drinking and driving, but after seeing your roadside test, well, no way I’m gonna pass that…”


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