Venus and Mars

[NauticalGent]

Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars....

A book that came out in '92...I as 27 at the time and needed no book to tell me how different we are!

A quick note before I continue - to the women of AWF - if any disrespect to your gender is perceived are any time, I assure that that it is unintentional. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you as individuals, women and professionals....most notably and in no particular order, @Pat Hartman , @strive4peace and @GinaWhipp . There are probably others but these are the only prolific women whom I know to be women....

Growing up in the '70's and '80's I often wondered why men felt so superior to women. Girls generally did better in school than most of us guys and handled controversy much better. Sure we were better at lifting heavy things and changing the oil in our cars, but that hardly made us superior....

Times have changed but that is not the purpose of this post. During the last two weeks, my darling wife who as a job in the HR field has been working from home. She was under strict quarantine protocol because that nasty COVID virus wormed its way into my home. Of the 8 adults who frequent my home at least once a week 5 of us (me included) have tested positive for COVID (very interesting story that I may share)

Since the home office is shared and we were both working from home, I was able to overhear a few of her conversations and served as a sounding board for her frustrations. First and foremost among her frustrations is the working climate of her office. 6 women who spend a lot of time trying to discredit each other.

I have NEVER understood why women treat each other so bad. I have read and heard other women try to put that on men - that somehow we have forced them to turn on each other if they were to have a chance to succeed in a "mans world". Total BS, but opinions are like butt-holes.

She has one co-worker in particular that she used to get along with until she was forced to work from home. The relationship turned sour and she has no clue as to why. I have asked her repeatedly if she planned to address this with her co-worker. Her response was usually silence or a curt "no".

I finally backed her in a corner and demanded an answer to my question regarding confronting her co-worker. I explained to her that ignoring it only makes it worse and it obviously bothers her so why not air this out...?

Her response: "That is how a MAN handles it, it doesn't work for women!"

I didn't need that damn book to tell me that it was best not to reply at all, but I did reply with an "I see".

So...I am still at a loss as to why my wife chooses to endure this undesirable working environment when the solution seems so simple....but she IS smarter than me so I guess I'll just have to live out the rest of my years in the absence of this knowledge...

Even if I were to read that book and come close to cracking the "Venus Code", they would just change the rules anyway, so there ya have it. She returns to her office on Monday so normalcy will be restored.

 

[Dick7Access]

I don’t know any of the answers either, but the activities director at the nursing home where my wife is at, just recently, has told me that she would much rather work for a man than another woman. I have heard that from other women also. Here is a little humor that I use to explain the problem. It doesn’t work but brings a good laugh. “I am the boss at my house, and I have my wife’s permission to say so.”

 

[NauticalGent]

“I am the boss at my house, and I have my wife’s permission to say so.”

Some of the wisest words ever spoken!

 

[Steve R.]

Since the home office is shared and we were both working from home, I was able to overhear a few of her conversations and served as a sounding board for her frustrations. First and foremost among her frustrations is the working climate of her office. 6 women who spend a lot of time trying to discredit each other.

I have NEVER understood why women treat each other so bad. I have read and heard other women try to put that on men - that somehow we have forced them to turn on each other if they were to have a chance to succeed in a "mans world". Total BS, but opinions are like butt-holes.

I don’t know any of the answers either, but the activities director at the nursing home where my wife is at, just recently, has told me that she would much rather work for a man than another woman. I have heard that from other women also. Here is a little humor that I use to explain the problem. It doesn’t work but brings a good laugh. “I am the boss at my house, and I have my wife’s permission to say so.”

How woman treat each other is a very valid question. However, in today's rabid "woke culture", this is a forbidden topic to be immediately refuted and anyone discussing it to be condemned. A quick very informal unscientific internet search along those lines resulted in a lot of hits of how women are "victims" of discrimination. In getting away from the mantra of promoting "victim-hood") and looking at the issue from a more scientific basis, I wonder what Dr. Jordan B Peterson may have to say. @Uncle Gizmo since he has been apparently followin R. Jordan may have some insight. Overall, it would appear that how women treat other women is simply part of mankind's innate biological programming (that some blindly refuse to acknowledge).

As a follow-up to @Dick7Access, I have also noted and read that the "best" working relationship is women working for men. Followed by men working for women. The worst being women working for women.

Ironically, there also appears to be another cultural background factor at work. That is women band together, men don't. So if a woman is figuratively "attacked", other woman will band together to protect that woman. Now if a man is figuratively "attacked", other men will not defend him. As a quick rhetorical question: How many women's rights advocacy organizations exist in comparison to the number of men's rights advocacy organizations? A quick unscientific biological speculation is that men getting "rid" of other men means less competition by the winners for leadership and resources. Woman are also attracted to males that win.

I am also reminded of an interview that Dr. Laura had. It has been many years since I heard it, so my memory may be off a bit. In that interview a woman called-up to ask Dr. Laura for advice on getting her car fixed. The response by Dr. Laura was a brief flurry of exacerbation (paraphrased): "Why is it that women have to discuss amongst themselves and issue ad infinitum and get nothing done. A guy would have simply taken the car to a repair shop and gotten it fixed! Problem solved."

 

[Jon]

I have NEVER understood why women treat each other so bad.

I look at this through the evoluationary psychology lens. It is a fight for status and biological survival. Men use threat of physical violence while woman, being less physically strong, resort to more covert ways to achieve their goals. That is when both men and women are involved. Women compete against men with this covert methodology, since they can't win the physical war.

Against each other, they often discredit based on age, looks, and fidelity. These are all factors that contribute to reproductive potential. By discrediting based on these areas, they threaten the very survival of their genes into the future.

Men use different strategies, such as intelligence (denigrating the opponents), physical strength with the threat of violence and resources (more=better chance of survival). These all contribute to the ability to protect and provide until the offspring is reared, and to present yourself as that person.

The above is based on a book called Evolutionary Psychology that I read, by Dr David Buss. Great book and opens your eyes. No doubt I have missed bits off and distorted some elements, but that is from my best recollection.

 

[NauticalGent]

So if a woman is figuratively "attacked", other woman will band together to protect that woman.

I would counter that statement with how women behave on reality shows. I never watched them before I married my current wife who watches Survivor and Big Brother. Although there are equal numbers, the women NEVER band together.

As pointed out, they seek out the Alpha, hitch their wagon and use them to assist them in eliminating each other. Really frustrates my wife....

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

I wonder what Dr. Jordan B Peterson may have to say.

Hi Steve and All.

Well, all I can say is, I don't understand women, and I've been married to one for 40 years! The main thing I don't understand is why she stays with me, I know for a fact I wouldn't stay with me!

With regard to Jordan Peterson, I've been looking trying to find the YouTube video where he said it, but I can't find it at the moment.

Going from memory, I think if men disagree there is always the underlying threat of physical violence. It's seldom surfaces but it certainly seems to be an important part of making things work out between men, the fact that things can be taken to the Limit. Men sort of instinctively know this, but they can't apply the same techniques with women. This makes it difficult for men in the workplace, if they started treating female colleagues the way they treated their male colleagues then, well I don't know what would happen.

But Jordan Peterson said a very interesting thing, women also cannot handle a harpy type bitchy type woman...

 

[NauticalGent]

The main thing I don't understand is why she stays with me, I know for a fact I wouldn't stay with me!

She must be a saint, that I can assure you!

 

[Dick7Access]

Here is some more humor I use on the subject when I am preaching:

I had a dream last night, and in this dream, God appeared to me and granted me any wish I wanted. I said I wanted God to build me a bridge from Florida to Hawaii because I don’t want to go by boat, and my wife doesn’t like to fly. God said that’s not problem for me but that’s a little selfish, ask for something that would help your fellow man. I have always wanted a ministry to husband. I want to teach then to have that loving relationship that Virginia and I have. To do that I need for you to teach me everything there is to know about women. Why are they cold when I am hot? Why do they cry when I am laughing? Teach me everything there is to know about women. God said would that be a two lane or one lane bridge?

 

[Steve R.]

unter that statement with how women behave on reality shows. I never watched them before I married my current wife who watches Survivor and Big Brother. Although there are equal numbers, the women NEVER band together.

Time to play the "clarification" card. We may be comparing "oranges" and "apples". I don't watch Survivor, my wife does, so I can't comment on how women interact on that show. Nevertheless, I will make a two prong speculation. First, if a group of people are split into competitive teams (tribes) to win a prize, they will "fight" each other no matter the gender. Second, from the perspective of being within the tribe women may sabotage other women within that same tribe as a survival tactic since one does not want to get eliminated in a competitive sport (assuming Survivor qualifies).

In my statement, I was thinking more along the lines of gender interactions, such as domestic abuse. If a man (allegedly) abuses a woman, there is an established support network of women to help her. Additionally, women even have the support of government. Conversely, if a woman (allegedly) abuses a man, the reponse of many men is simply along the lines of: "good luck, sorry to hear ..."