Is this social or overthinking anxiety?

[harpygaggle]

Hi guys,

Sorry if i may go off topic discussion for a bit. I just wanted to know your thoughts.

Last 2 weeks ago, I deactivated a few of my social media accounts. I feel so small viewing those posts. I don't feel bitter but I couldn't help to compare myself with all the achievements of the people in my feed. It just led me to feel it.

Others may tell that I feel this because I envy those people. I don't know if you would classify that as being envious... All I feel is fear that I may not be able to achieve something for myself. Seeing all these posts is not good for me for it will trigger my anxiety. My mind is so clouded with so many things that I worry too much. I cried because there is no one to talk to...I feel exhausted!

What to do

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Most of those people you feel envious of are in the same predicament as you, they are also envious of people they perceive as being better than them...

That's just the way it is, it's very easy to get into that mindset and it's very destructive.

Now think about your own achievements, I would hazard a guess that they are pretty good and noteworthy.

Instead of comparing yourself against others, compare yourself against a previous version of yourself.

Assuming you posted your thoughts here because you are in some way a programmer, then using a programming example:-

Let's say a few months ago you could create a form based on a table, now you can create a form based on a query.

So you are better than your previous self.

There are surely better examples than this, but this is the first thing that sprung to mind.

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Here Jordan B Peterson explains it much better than I can:-

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Here's another Jordan Peterson YouTube:-

Rule 4: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday | Jordan Peterson​

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

See Rule 4 on this Website:-

Rule 4: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else is Today

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

By the way just me posting links could seem impersonal, that was not my intention it is more about offering different views on the way to tackle it.

However if you want to talk personally about it, then I am happy to, and I am sure others here are as well.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

While I am in no means religious, I sometimes quote Biblical passages because they are relevant.

There is the parable of the Sower and the Seeds. The short message is that the sower puts seeds both in fertile fields and less fertile fields. He does not curse the fields that produce less than the others. He does not praise the fields that produce more than the others. Each field is producing in its natural capacity. As long as the field produces the best that it can, neither praise nor shame should be associated with that field.

And so it is with people. Each of does the best we can with what we have and we try to improve in our own ways. But there is no shame in taking a while to learn more. There is no shame in finding difficulties in our path.

A more Zen approach is that you see this thing before you that blocks your path. Do you curse the thing for being where it is? Do you curse yourself for having not taken an easier path? No to both. You simply find a way to get past the blockage and then proceed along your chosen path. There is no value in condemnation, of others or self. And if this thing in your path is your own self-evaluation, find a way past that, too. After all, you are only human. Yes, you MIGHT feel inadequate. But your humanity could have caused your EVALUATION to be the thing in error. Sort of like that old joke about "I thought I was wrong once. But it turns out I was wrong about being wrong."

 

[AccessBlaster]

Last 2 weeks ago, I deactivated a few of my social media accounts. I feel so small viewing those posts. I don't feel bitter but I couldn't help to compare myself with all the achievements of the people in my feed. It just led me to feel it.

What you are feeling is withdraw similar to a drug addict. Social media has algorithms that punish and reward your brain with dopamine. When you cut back on your social media accounts you feel alone it's designed that way.

You have done the right thing, I wish you success.

 

[Jon]

I like Rule 4.

 

[Vassago]

I left Facebook in June and haven't even really missed it except for two things. 1. Having all my news in one place. That's easily remedied with an RSS feed or using Google, just haven't really don't it yet. 2. Cat groups. There are other ways to get my cat fix though.

The people I need to talk to know how to reach me. That's all that matters.

If something is causing you stress, it's best to just remove that stressor. I would have done the same in your boat as well.

 

[Isaac]

Instead of comparing yourself against others, compare yourself against a previous version of yourself.

Well said.

 

[Isaac]

With tiny exceptions once or twice to "check it out", I've never used facebook, twitter, instacrap, or snapcrap. I used LinkedIn until it became just a bunch of politically correct mumbo jumbo articles and took on the "influencer" tinge.

From what I hear from my wife, I'm quite happy with my decision. Email, telephone, and text message are perfectly adequate methods of communication.

I avoid proselytizing here, except in cases where someone asks - then I'll answer. Turn your will & your life over to the care of God as you understand him, He loves you and is there with you.

Good luck and stay around people.

 

[Pat Hartman]

or using Google,

You might see a different view of the world if you use duckduckgo

 

[AccessBlaster]

Startpage is another non-tracking non-bias search engine.