Joke (one for the Brits) (1 Viewer)

[Adeptus]

Please excuse my fellow compatriots on their ignorance of the use of puns.

They're obviously not fans of Piers Anthony's Xanth series, or (Robert Asprin?)'s Myth series of punny fantasy novels.

Some of the ones in the Myth series particularly, you need to think with an American accent

 

[KenHigg]

At your service.

A Jelly Baby (Candy in the form of a baby made from what you colonial types refer to as jello) walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie (more candy rather like an M&M). After a few beers the Smartie says, "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?" ("Hello old chap, some chums and I are off to sample that new entertainment establishment, would you care to accompany us?")
The Jelly Baby says, "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in." ("No thanks - I'm a bit of a softy, there's a very good chance that I may be picked upon by ruffians")

So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case ("I'm rather tough"), I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets (Hard, boiled throat sweets containing honey and menthol) walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.

The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking cola (Undrinkable American beverage) bottles over his little jelly head, (could be difficult, I grant you - you'd think they would bounce) lamping (striking) him with little sugary chairs (more candy), and generally having a laugh. (Enjoying themselves in an aggressive manner)
After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look after me."

I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f***ing (very) menthol (mental)".

Oh dear I fear the joke wasn't strong enough to start with.

Oh course there's always the possibility that some of us Americans 'got' it to start with and simply didn't think it was very funny to begin with -

 

[Pauldohert]

Judging by the posts on these forums, it seems the Yanks have lost their sense of humour and they take everything personally.

Oh course there's always the possibility that some of us Americans 'got' it to start with and simply didn't think it was very funny to begin with -

Is Col right here?

 

[KenHigg]

...Is Col right here?

What is the difference in 'Losing the sense of humour' and simply not thinking something is funny? Or is it one in the same?

 

[Pauldohert]

I thought it was mildly amusing, so where does that put me - perhaps it was hilarious and I have partially lost my sense of humour?

 

[Rich]

Oh course there's always the possibility that some of us Americans 'got' it to start with

Now you are stretching the realms of credibility

 

[KenHigg]

You guys must have dropped it overboard from the Mayflower!.

Maybe it was thrown overboard and not 'dropped' -

 

[Rich]

Maybe it thrown overboard and not 'dropped' -

Since they took the the name of their final departure port with them they would have certainly retained their sense of humour

 

[dan-cat]

I thought it was mildly amusing, so where does that put me - perhaps it was hilarious and I have partially lost my sense of humour?

You thought it "mildly amusing" which means:

a) you didn't find it "very funny" either
b) consequently, using your support of Col's comment, one could also argue that Brits "have lost their sense of humour and they take everything personally"

As you can see, Cols's comment is completely without substance, and so is any support of it.

 

[Len Boorman]

one could also argue that Brits "have lost their sense of humour.

Now just hold on thar a darn tootin minute

Brits never loose their sense of humour, If we did we would not have the Government we have.

Brits humour is refined, subtle, and with style using the full range of situations, inuendo and word play that emanates from our distinguished history dating back many many centuries.

You just have to be a Brit to fully appreciate.



L

 

[dan-cat]

You just have to be a Brit to fully appreciate.



L

Here's something that a non-Brit doesn't get. Bonfire night. Is it the celebration of a terrorist, of the fact that he was foiled, what it would have looked like if he had succeeded What's with the burning effigy?

It all seems very mob-like

 

[Len Boorman]

In the old days when we had an Empire when there was a bit of trouble somewhere cry was "Send a Gunboat" So Guy Fawkes is alongthe lines of "Gunboat Democracy" sort of think.

That is what we did with the Falklands

Trouble now would be finding a gunboat to send. probably be a rowing boat and catapults

L

 

[ColinEssex]

Oh course there's always the possibility that some of us Americans 'got' it to start with and simply didn't think it was very funny to begin with -

It's not funny to begin with - the joke line is at the end

Come on Kenny - get a grip lad

Col

 

[Rich]

Here's something that a non-Brit doesn't get. Bonfire night. Is it the celebration of a terrorist,

Duh
The celebration is in regard to the capture of a terrorist and the defeat of the plot in the first place

What's with the burning effigy?

It all seems very mob-like

Unlike the KKK who used real people, now, what was your point again?

 

[KalelGmoon]

Duh
The celebration is in regard to the capture of a terrorist and the defeat of the plot in the first place



Unlike the KKK who used real people, now, what was your point again?

I think the point is, that the KKK is shunned and is breaking the law, where as the Bonfire Night is a holiday, almost like the "gatherings" that are held in Islamic countries where they burn effigies of the western world, namely our leaders

 

[Rich]

I think the point is, that the KKK is shunned and is breaking the law, where as the Bonfire Night is a holiday, almost like the "gatherings" that are held in Islamic countries where they burn effigies of the western world, namely our leaders

Except that the KKK had the support of the christian community in which they lived and operated. The celebration of events long past have nothing to do with burning effigies of living people

 

[dan-cat]

Duh
The celebration is in regard to the capture of a terrorist and the defeat of the plot in the first place
Unlike the KKK who used real people, now, what was your point again?

There wasn't any 'point'. It was just a question. Please try to not be so aggressive, there's a good lad.

 

[Rich]

There wasn't any 'point'. It was just a question. Please try to not be so aggressive, there's a good lad.

One has to be aggresive if one's determined to get at the truth and don't be so condescending, there's a Merk

 

[ColinEssex]

where as the Bonfire Night is a holiday, almost like the "gatherings" that are held in Islamic countries where they burn effigies of the western world, namely our leaders

Bonfire night is not a holiday - I do wish you'd research things. Its merely a normal day where some people set off fireworks at night. And, combined with Health and Safety regs and the do-gooders who like to spoil things, not many people do that now.

Col

 

[ColinEssex]

almost like the "gatherings" that are held in Islamic countries where they burn effigies of the western world, namely our leaders

well, being as they are all totally crap, I don't blame them for burning effigies, I would if our country was invaded by the USA like theirs is.

Anyway, we have anti-Iraq war protests here and burn the USA flag and effigies of Bush. Same as Americans did in the anti-Vietnam war demo's.

Whats different?

Col