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Rich
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You in any language Lushy is absurdnobody nowhere said:
What's your best/worst joke? (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Fornatian
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nobody nowhere
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Rich said:
You in any language Lushy is absurd
i dont know what lushy is in french or german or portugeuse so neer
R
Rich
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You're a Prat in any language Lushynobody nowhere said:
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nobody nowhere
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in votre rever!!!
D
Damegon
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In Dulce Jubilo
An Arsenal Joke
Snow White, Arnold Schwazennegger and Quasimodo are having a conversation. Snow White says "Everybody tells me I am the most beautiful,woman that any man has ever seen , but how do I know?" Arnie says "I know what you mean. Everybody tells me I am the most muscular man that has ever lived, but how do I know?" Quasimodo says "Yes. Everybody tells me I am the most disgusting, despicable, grotesque creature that has ever roamed the earth, but how do I know?" Snow White says "Let's go and see the wise man!". Snow White goes in first and five minutes later she comes out and says: "It's true. I am the most beautiful,woman that any man has ever seen ." Arnie goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: "It's true. I am the most muscular man that has ever lived." Quasimodo goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: "Who's this Martin Keown (Arsenal Defender) character then?"
Snow White, Arnold Schwazennegger and Quasimodo are having a conversation. Snow White says "Everybody tells me I am the most beautiful,woman that any man has ever seen , but how do I know?" Arnie says "I know what you mean. Everybody tells me I am the most muscular man that has ever lived, but how do I know?" Quasimodo says "Yes. Everybody tells me I am the most disgusting, despicable, grotesque creature that has ever roamed the earth, but how do I know?" Snow White says "Let's go and see the wise man!". Snow White goes in first and five minutes later she comes out and says: "It's true. I am the most beautiful,woman that any man has ever seen ." Arnie goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: "It's true. I am the most muscular man that has ever lived." Quasimodo goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: "Who's this Martin Keown (Arsenal Defender) character then?"
A young blonde woman decided to earn some extra money by doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. She went to one house, a man answered the door, and she asked if he had any jobs for her. "Sure," he said, "how would you like to paint my porch for $25?" "Great, I'd be happy to do that," she said. "Okay, the paint cans and brushes are in the garage." Then he went back in his house and laughed to his wife, "What a dope. She has no idea that the porch wraps around the whole house. She will be out there painting all day. All for a lousy 25 bucks!!" One hour later she appears at the front door. "All done," she said. "May I have my money now?" The man stood there stunned and incredulous. "And by the way," the woman added, "that's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari."
Groundrush
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Living in 2003
Points 16, 17 & 18 are so true!!!
You know you're living in 2003 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" or "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE.....
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".
15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9
17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9
18. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN STUPIDNESS..
Points 16, 17 & 18 are so true!!!
You know you're living in 2003 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" or "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
AND THE REAL CLINCHERS ARE.....
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends".
15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
16. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9
17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9
18. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN STUPIDNESS..
Hayley Baxter
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1st Christmas Joke of the Season
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were
met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"In honor of this most holy season," Saint Peter said,
"you must each produce something that symbolizes
Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets
and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
"It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the Pearly Gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out
a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said, "You too, may pass through the Pearly
Gates."
The third man started searching desperately through
his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's
panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised
eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carols?"
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were
met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"In honor of this most holy season," Saint Peter said,
"you must each produce something that symbolizes
Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets
and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
"It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the Pearly Gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out
a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said, "You too, may pass through the Pearly
Gates."
The third man started searching desperately through
his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's
panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised
eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carols?"
Hayley Baxter
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What Carol's familar? Thought you didn't remember their names
Hayley Baxter
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oops sorry. The thread's getting a bit long winded now and I didn't see the original
Hayley Baxter
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andy_dyer
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We just have to hope and pray that someone who shall remain nameless doesn't find this thread, as they appear to have done yours Mile!!
All I can say is:
I'm not sure whether it is the "lush" green grass that is eaten by the grazing cow or what is left from the other end that reminds me most about what this individual has to say in far too many threads...
I think we all know...
All I can say is:
I'm not sure whether it is the "lush" green grass that is eaten by the grazing cow or what is left from the other end that reminds me most about what this individual has to say in far too many threads...
I think we all know...
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