A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a
> few
> beers the Smartie says, "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new
> club, fancy tagging along?"
>
> The Jelly Baby says, "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up
> getting my head kicked in."
>
> So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll
> look after you."
>
> Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as
> long as you'll look after me", and off they go.
>
> After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as
> he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
>
> The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him,
> breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with
> little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh.
>
> After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his
> battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby
> blood and turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look
after me."
>
> I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f***ing menthol".
> few
> beers the Smartie says, "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new
> club, fancy tagging along?"
>
> The Jelly Baby says, "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up
> getting my head kicked in."
>
> So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll
> look after you."
>
> Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as
> long as you'll look after me", and off they go.
>
> After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as
> he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
>
> The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him,
> breaking cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with
> little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh.
>
> After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his
> battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby
> blood and turns to Smartie and says, "I thought you were going to look
after me."
>
> I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f***ing menthol".