Marital Discord (1 Viewer)

[Brianwarnock]

Ken I think that you totally missed Idjit's point.

Brian

 

[KenHigg]

Ken I think that you totally missed Idjit's point.

Brian

No... I got it; With all the emotional stress that goes along with losing your spouse, you shouldn't have to be worrying about money...

'grieve properly' just sounds like a odd way to put it...

Sorry...

 

[Rich]

So at 68 or 69 I sell up and blow the lot

Col

Not leaving any to the Sally Army then ?

 

[ColinEssex]

Not leaving any to the Sally Army then ?

Nope Not leaving anything to a bunch of religious freaks.

The only beneficiaries from the last to die out of the 2 of us will be animal charities. Thats it - the rest will be blown.

Col

 

[lmnop7854]

You know, this has been a very interesting topic for me to read. Ever since I was very young, and my parents attempted to divorce, I resolved to make sure that I could always take care of myself in the event that my significant other was not around. As it turns out, I have never been married, and the boyfriend I have been with for millions of years has never been in a position to even pay half of the mortgage or rent, so I have always been the primary breadwinner, and the primary debtor as well. And now that I have a baby, I have made the financial adjustments to be able to pay for everything, including day care (although, right now, I wouldn't be able to afford that without the BF, so I am working on getting a better job). I imagine if I had developed a relationship with a financially independent person, I would better be able to relate to the worries of not being able to afford the mortgage, because generally, in most marriages, it is a combination of the income that determines how much house you buy, by consent of both parties. I bought my own house, and I pay for everything. It has always been that way. I wonder what I would do if I ever met someone who was interested in being a partner, in all ways.

It really makes me think about the incredibly dysfunctional relationship I have, and how un-50/50 it really is.

Lisa

 

[Brianwarnock]

Lisa , that was a worrying post. Both my daughters easily out earn their respective Husband/partner but what they do get is loads of love and support.
My wife worked for only a brief time after our wedding as our first daughter was a honeymoon baby, too much sangria , and i have been the only bread winner to speak of, but as far as I'm concerned we are equal partners in this relationship. I wonder if being married makes a difference

Brian

 

[Idjit]

No... I got it; With all the emotional stress that goes along with losing your spouse, you shouldn't have to be worrying about money...

'grieve properly' just sounds like a odd way to put it...

Sorry...

Yup, "properly" was an odd word to use in the context...moral of the story, don't drink and post.

I'm glad you know what I meant. Maybe the way I should have phrased it is, when going through such a terrible loss it really is comforting to know that there is at least one thing you don't need to worry about. I compare my mom's situation when my dad died, to what a couple of her sisters went through. And believe me, it makes a big difference. Losing a loved one shouldn't be the equivalent of winning the lotto, but don't under-rate security.

Tess, I am also glad that things worked out in this case.

Of course, I had forgotten that in the U.S. there are SS survivor benefits for minor children who lose a parent, but I don't know what those benefits are. So even folks with no insurance have some help if they lose a spouse while still raising children.

 

[Brianwarnock]

Hi Tess,
I managed to find this on a funeral directors general web site, this makes me suspect that there is no simple answer covering every case

Brian

Help with the funeral arrangements

Normally a member of the family or a close friend arranges the funeral. When there is no surviving family or friends available, or they are not able to arrange the funeral, the public authorities will help with arrangements.
NHS Trusts become responsible for the funeral arrangements of a person who dies in hospital when no relatives can be traced, or relatives are not able to afford the cost themselves and do not qualify for Social Fund Funeral Payments.
When someone dies in hospital, a local authority home or in temporary accommodation, the health board, NHS trust or the social work department of the local authority may arrange the funeral. Whichever authority arranges the funeral may claim on the deceased person's estate to offset the costs involved. Ask at the hospital or the home.
If no other arrangements can be made, the local authority has a duty to bury or cremate a dead person. It may also claim on the estate to offset the costs. Ask at your local council offices. Funerals arranged by public authorities are conducted with dignity and respect and bear no resemblance to the 'paupers' burials' of the past. Some local authorities prefer to carry out cremations rather than burials, but the wishes of the deceased or his/her relatives, if known, are normally respected.
The NHS trust or health board may offer to arrange and meet the cost of a burial or cremation of a stillborn baby, whether born in hospital or at home. You should discuss the arrangement with the hospital staff or midwife. If you accept the offer, the baby will be cremated or buried after a simple ceremony. The parents can, if they wish, arrange the funeral themselves.

 

[lmnop7854]

Lisa , that was a worrying post. Both my daughters easily out earn their respective Husband/partner but what they do get is loads of love and support.
Brian

You're right, Brian, that is pretty worrying - as I was writing it, I was realizing how screwed up my situation is. But I am working on resolving that issue, for the better for me.

Lisa

 

[Kraj]

... even Greg seemed to lose his usual cool rational approach and appeared to tell me to butt out.

Brian

Brian, I truly apologize for giving you this impression. It was not my intention at all.

What I was trying to say is that I made a judgement about insurance which was based on my experience with the insurance systems in the U.S, specifically, because I have no experience with the systems of any other country on which to base a judgement (I realize my original statement was much more generalized and left tons of room for interpretation. That was purely my error.). You directly responded to my statement by suggesting that my judgement was not accurate, but supported your assertion with information that applies only to insurance in the UK, not the U.S. My attempts to clarify my statement were not in an effort to tell you to butt out but to explain that even if everything you say is true it simply doesn't apply to my situation.

To put it another way, I'm more than happy to hear your opinions and to learn about how insurance functions in the UK. But such information would only serve to show an example of a healthy insurance system, not rebut my assertion about the U.S.'s system.

I hope that clears the air.

 

[Brianwarnock]

Brian, I truly apologize for giving you this impression. It was not my intention at all.

......................

I hope that clears the air.

That's the trouble with written communication, no body language, no voice inflection; no interaction, thus we get our wires crossed.

Our Insurance business probably does not differ from yours, I was just trying to say that the modern world would not function without it, warts and all, but one cannot expect a business to take on what it considers to be an unacceptable risk, but I would rather not continue this , and I didn't feel that you owed me an apology I said what I did to illustrate a point, probably badly, so lets shake on it (virtually) and move on.

Brian

 

[KenHigg]

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, thus we get our wires crossed.

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[Rich]

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You've cut out the bit with the pic of Bush and Chenny sat listening with their headphones on

 

[Kraj]

so lets shake on it (virtually) and move on.

Consider it shook.

 

[KenHigg]

Consider it shook.

 

[Rich]

 

[Kraj]

 

[Brianwarnock]

I thought "what the hell has that got to do with.. Aaahhh! " nice one Greg. Is that called lateral thinking?

Brian

 

[Kraj]

I thought "what the hell has that got to do with.. Aaahhh! " nice one Greg. Is that called lateral thinking?

Brian

For you? Yes. For me? No. It just came up on the Google search and I was like, "Ooh... that's a good one."

 

[KenHigg]

For you? Yes. For me? No. It just came up on the Google search and I was like, "Ooh... that's a good one."

So when two people make up they give each other a s-hook?

"Oh no, we're not fuss'n any more, we made up and gave each other a s-hook on it..."