Not in the FAA Handbook!

Uncle Gizmo

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This amused me in a macabre way, because imagine yourself in the situation of piloting the plane and having to report it to the control tower!

What would you say?

There are no instructions from the FAA or indeed the pilots handbook!
 
What would you say?

I can't use that language on the forum.

However my thought would be to put the plane on autopilot at the earliest opportunity and check the handbook for the topic "Pilot impairment or incapacitated." Then my next thought would be to check whether the handbook had an entry for "both pilots impaired or incapacitated" to see if they had instructions to put your head between your legs and kiss your bottom goodbye. (Just as a curiosity, of course.)
 
Every time I look at something Tony posts, I end up watching a couple of others. Here's one I love:
 

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