oumahexi
Free Range Witch
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- Aug 10, 2006
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Top Tips to Get ahead in IT
If you are reading this article you are already aware that you are special. You are the person who becomes invisible in a crowd and could probably get by as criminal because few people will ever notice you enough to be able to describe you. This is why you are drawn to the world of computing. This is your chance to shine. New doors open for you and the key to these new doors is knowledge. In this industry you do not need to excel in your knowledge, a sound background will suffice. But in order to really shine, you need to follow some simple rules.
Rule 1 - Bullshit baffles brains
Whenever confronted with a colleague who appears to know as much as you do don’t be afraid to embellish your knowledge. Always talk up, and wherever possible, in circular movements. Talking in circles will make you sound like you know more than you do. But be careful, too many circles can make you sound like you are waffling.
Rule 2 – Knowledge is power
Never, under any circumstances, complete documentation. If you hand over full documentation so that another person can understand your work you will be as well to leave the job right now, the company has no reason to keep you as they now know everything you did. Always apply the 20% rule, that is, keep back 20% so that they need to ask for your assistance. This not only makes them look stupid but makes your look indispensable. Again, be careful not to take this too far, production of absolutely no documentation alerts your superiors to your game and they may feel that you are more of a liability than an asset.
Rule 3 – Use jargon
This works especially well with non technical staff. The use of jargon makes your sound as if you know what you are talking about and gives them greater confidence in you. When in meetings and discussions with other IT professionals make up some jargon of your own, this will make them think that you are really up to speed on the latest technology. Don’t worry, they won’t ask what you’re talking about because they are equally as insecure as you are and don’t want to look stupid. Once again, you need to be careful not to over do it.
Rule 4 – Keep it simple, make it look hard
Make everything you do look more difficult than it actually is. You can do this with the use of macros; embedded code and by using code supplied by others. Production of reams of unnecessary code look impressive when viewed by the untrained eye, and, you can employ Rule no 1 to justify its use. Couple this with Rule no 3 to add power to your reasoning. Try not to keep any code consistent. Consistency is easy to follow and will make you look average.
If you are reading this article you are already aware that you are special. You are the person who becomes invisible in a crowd and could probably get by as criminal because few people will ever notice you enough to be able to describe you. This is why you are drawn to the world of computing. This is your chance to shine. New doors open for you and the key to these new doors is knowledge. In this industry you do not need to excel in your knowledge, a sound background will suffice. But in order to really shine, you need to follow some simple rules.
Rule 1 - Bullshit baffles brains
Whenever confronted with a colleague who appears to know as much as you do don’t be afraid to embellish your knowledge. Always talk up, and wherever possible, in circular movements. Talking in circles will make you sound like you know more than you do. But be careful, too many circles can make you sound like you are waffling.
Rule 2 – Knowledge is power
Never, under any circumstances, complete documentation. If you hand over full documentation so that another person can understand your work you will be as well to leave the job right now, the company has no reason to keep you as they now know everything you did. Always apply the 20% rule, that is, keep back 20% so that they need to ask for your assistance. This not only makes them look stupid but makes your look indispensable. Again, be careful not to take this too far, production of absolutely no documentation alerts your superiors to your game and they may feel that you are more of a liability than an asset.
Rule 3 – Use jargon
This works especially well with non technical staff. The use of jargon makes your sound as if you know what you are talking about and gives them greater confidence in you. When in meetings and discussions with other IT professionals make up some jargon of your own, this will make them think that you are really up to speed on the latest technology. Don’t worry, they won’t ask what you’re talking about because they are equally as insecure as you are and don’t want to look stupid. Once again, you need to be careful not to over do it.
Rule 4 – Keep it simple, make it look hard
Make everything you do look more difficult than it actually is. You can do this with the use of macros; embedded code and by using code supplied by others. Production of reams of unnecessary code look impressive when viewed by the untrained eye, and, you can employ Rule no 1 to justify its use. Couple this with Rule no 3 to add power to your reasoning. Try not to keep any code consistent. Consistency is easy to follow and will make you look average.
