selenau837 said:
Yes, you need love, but love can also blind you as well. So that you can't see you truely aren't compatiable.
Last time, I fell hard before realizing it wasn't working. Then felt stuck. Next time, I will make sure everything is in place, before I allow myself to fall in love.
Although I can relate to what you say, I think it is pretty impossible to control falling hard. If you fall for someone, you fall for someone.
The same thing happened to me, and I ignored every sign of incompatibility. It was a choice, and I can remember deliberately ignoring the signs. Now I am somewhat "stuck", but both of us have our issues that we have to deal with, and we are working on them. I can't say that it will all work out perfectly, but it is something we feel that we should work on until it is clear that it can't work. Especially now, since there is a little one's relationship with her father at stake.
At this point, I would have to still agree that love is the most important factor - it provides the glue for the relationship, so that it can weather the storms. Without it, most people would just jump ship at the first sign of trouble.
Compatibility is second, and the need to pay attention when compatibility isn't there. So combined with both of these is the ability to think with one's head, rather than completely with one's heart.
To that end, it doesn't matter what the age difference is. I've fallen in love with guys who ranged from 16 years older than me, to 6 years younger than me. So from my perspective, there is no safe age at which to avoid getting involved with a "boy". My only additional requirement would be one with a sense of what responsibility and accountability mean. But that falls into the compatability category.
Ok, enough of my soapbox.
Lisa
)
I'd go as high as 15 years older, but ideally probably more like 10. (Although he still have to be pretty mature for his age.... hmmm.... as mature as a 70 year old, with the mind and body of a 55 year old... ah... perfect! 
