What's your best/worst joke? (2 Viewers)

[CJ_London]

*THE HAIRCUT* ‍♂‍♀



_"Blessed are those that can give without remembering, and take without forgetting."_



One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.



When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.





Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.



The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.





‍♂ Then a MP came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The MP was very happy and left the shop.



The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.

🗣

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Of course, the true - but dangerous - answer to that question is: <sigh> not any more.

 

[Alc]

What question can not be answered by YES?

Which prog rock band didn't get a UK number one album with Tales from Topographic Oceans?

 

[Dick7Access]

Which prog rock band didn't get a UK number one album with Tales from Topographic Oceans?

Would you mind interpreting that for a Yank?

 

[NauticalGent]

Progressive Rock. I assume ALC means "Yes" who released the album "Tales from Topographic Oceans"

I think ALC was taking a Jeopardy-like approach to your question to Doc. Clever!

 

[Alc]

Progressive Rock. I assume ALC means "Yes" who released the album "Tales from Topographic Oceans"

I think ALC was taking a Jeopardy-like approach to your question to Doc. Clever!

Sorry, I read 'Yes' and I saw the band logo in my mind.

It's not as if I never hear the word in any other context, but that's the first place my mind went.

 

[NauticalGent]

Sorry, I read 'Yes' and I saw the band logo in my mind.
View attachment 91187
It's not as if I never hear the word in any other context, but that's the first place my mind went.

Not a bad place to go IMHO

 

[AccessBlaster]

Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?

I didn't want to disturb you at work...

 

[The_Doc_Man]

At work I only had algorasms.

(OK, might be hard to look up...) https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=algorasm

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[conception_native_0123]

(OK, might be hard to look up...) https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=algorasm

i didn't know you had ANY sense of humor whatsoever outside of military humor and microsoft access humor!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

i didn't know you had ANY sense of humor whatsoever outside of military humor and microsoft access humor!

Live and learn! There are many things about me that you don't know - and that I don't care to tell you.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Stop hijacking the thread. This isn't about you.

 

[conception_native_0123]

Stop hijacking the thread. This isn't about you.

 

[Steve R.]

When we do our healthy heart walk around the neighborhood my wife likes to point-out the rabbits we see. Recently there has been a massive increase in rabbit sightings. Reason unknown. Anyway, one house has a rabbit lawn ornament, so my wife likes to fool me my pointing to it and squawking "fooled you"!!! Works every-time. On the walk today, my wife was lamenting that there were no rabbits. At the time, we were passing by that notorious rabbit lawn ornament. So I quipped "Look rabbits". Guess what, next to the fake rabbit were two real rabbits!!!

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

View attachment 91975

If I tried that, my blood pressure would probably rise at least 10% - but that image and your comment taken together remind me of a cheap Western hotel... no ball room.

 

[AccessBlaster]

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.

Broco Lee.

 

[NauticalGent]

Dude...

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.

Broco Lee.

That is so bad it's nearly good...

So if you want to start a list of really bad jokes I can tell a really dirty joke...










A man fell in some mud .



Got anything worse?