What's your best/worst joke?

[jdraw]

Politicians are like Diapers
Both should be changed often
For the same reason

 

[jdraw]

I have a friend whose ID was stolen.
Now, he's just known as Dav

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

What is a woman in a wedding dress smoking a spliff?

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

A hybrid

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

This made me laugh so much!

https://twitter.com/x/status/1660963532920201218

 

[conception_native_0123]

it always put me to sleep.

any idea why? because there were no props perhaps?

 

[Isaac]

any idea why? because there were no props perhaps?

I guess the whaddya call it .. impromptu ad hoc stuff just doesn't float my boat. Jim Gaffigan does though

 

[Isaac]

What is a woman in a wedding dress smoking a spliff?

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

A hybrid

Or a lady standing on a street corner in Paris

 

[conception_native_0123]

I guess the whaddya call it .. impromptu ad hoc stuff just doesn't float my boat. Jim Gaffigan does though

respected. oh well.

 

[KitaYama]

I think I need to move to Spain.

That "Loyal Service" is killing me.

Spanish civil servant off work unnoticed for six years

A Spanish civil servant is fined after not going to work for at least six years, which was only noticed when he became eligible for a long service award.

www.bbc.com

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Proof that it's best to keep a low profile when you are doing something sneaky.

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

It sounds more like a description of a pre-Musk Twitter employee....

 

[CJ_London]

 

[CJ_London]

 

[Isaac]

I think I need to move to Spain.


View attachment 108112


That "Loyal Service" is killing me.

Spanish civil servant off work unnoticed for six years

A Spanish civil servant is fined after not going to work for at least six years, which was only noticed when he became eligible for a long service award.

www.bbc.com

6 x 41000 = 246000
he only got fined 30k.

Pretty good deal! Sounds like a USA post office job

 

[Dick7Access]

Pretty good deal! Sounds like a USA post office job

Reminds me about 35 years ago. Where I worked a guy about 30 years old was completely useless. The only reason he had a job his father was a foreman. He had a job once a week to go around to about 30 motors and pump grease into a grease fitting. While out sick another man was assigned the task. At one motor up high he could not see the grease fitting. He reach up to see if he could feel the grease fitting. He came back with a handful of grease. Useless could not find the grease fitting either so he just pumped grease onto the casing. BTW: the motor was greaseless. (Providence Pat)

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Stolen from Twitter:-

An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.

Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.

"Look what you did to my car" he yells.
"You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my" says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money.

Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."

"Dolphins" the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need 10 grand right now or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.

When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….

"For the last time dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals.....

NOT dolphins!"

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Bud light will turn you "Trans"

Bud light has gone bad. #budlight #dylanmulvaney #beer #funnyshorts #bar #funny

youtube.com

 

[Isaac]

I read today somebody made a recording of a teacher in the UK absolutely DESTROYING verbally a student who dared to suggest that if someone identified as a Cat, they were "genuinely unwell".

Things always have a trajectory. Stand up to this nonsense NOW, or it will keep going.
3 years ago nobody knew it was headed to where we were today. If you asked me 5 years ago, "are they going to try to force people to call a man a woman", I would have said - "of course not. we treat the confused person decently, but we don't pretend to agree with their false belief, of course!"

Yet here we are.

In the case of the UK school, the teacher actually told the student that if a person wanted to identify as a cat, they should be "affirmed"
And said something to the poor student like "with viewpoints like yours, you should be in an asylum".

This is where we are from unbridled "tolerance" of everything.

Despite the hatred we often receive, I think that 50 years from now people are going to literally thank evangelical Christians for being one of the primary forces that at least tried to slow this nonsense down. And of course the mutilated children will come to us for counseling and suicide prevention, and we will do our best..

 

[CJ_London]

Perhaps I'll identify as a pint of beer - that way I can be drunk every night

 

[Dick7Access]

I read today somebody made a recording of a teacher in the UK absolutely DESTROYING verbally a student who dared to suggest that if someone identified as a Cat, they were "genuinely unwell".

Things always have a trajectory. Stand up to this nonsense NOW, or it will keep going.
3 years ago nobody knew it was headed to where we were today. If you asked me 5 years ago, "are they going to try to force people to call a man a woman", I would have said - "of course not. we treat the confused person decently, but we don't pretend to agree with their false belief, of course!"

Yet here we are.

In the case of the UK school, the teacher actually told the student that if a person wanted to identify as a cat, they should be "affirmed"
And said something to the poor student like "with viewpoints like yours, you should be in an asylum".

This is where we are from unbridled "tolerance" of everything.

Despite the hatred we often receive, I think that 50 years from now people are going to literally thank evangelical Christians for being one of the primary forces that at least tried to slow this nonsense down. And of course the mutilated children will come to us for counseling and suicide prevention, and we will do our best..

Amen, and amen. That is why I do what I do. Trying to help people be happy and content with who they are and in the real world, not who they would like to be, and in the way they would like the world to be. One of the things I learned early in life from my father was follow the money. In college I had a professor who would always say, “It depends on whose ox is being gored”. I knew what he meant at the time, but was years before I realized that it was a close cousin to follow the money. While I was in politics I learned quickly why which politicians were pushing for what laws. The rude awaking was when I realized it was me too.