What's your best/worst joke?

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"When the phone was tied with a wire- humans were free..! This is so true! I have found myself wasting far too much time on my mobile phone lately. I have now removed easy access to YouTube and although it was a bit difficult at first it's freed up some time! I strongly recommend that anyone that feels their phone is imposing on their life is to leave the phone switch off, in a draw for a day, somewhere where you can't get at it easily. After your initial angst you will find that it's a nice experience...
 
"When the phone was tied with a wire- humans were free..! This is so true! I have found myself wasting far too much time on my mobile phone lately. I have now removed easy access to YouTube and although it was a bit difficult at first it's freed up some time! I strongly recommend that anyone that feels their phone is imposing on their life is to leave the phone switch off, in a draw for a day, somewhere where you can't get at it easily. After your initial angst you will find that it's a nice experience...

When I was still working as a U.S. Navy contractor, I was on call 24x7 and used a cell phone, always kept it charged. Once I retired, the rule changed. I still charge up the phone but it is turned off most of the time. When I'm on the road or have to go grocery shopping or when I'm taking one of my daily walks, it is on for safety or in case my dear wife just remembered something for the shopping list. Otherwise, the electronic leash is turned off. I tell doctor's offices that my cell phone is not a good number and they look at me strangely. Then I tell them that the ONLY phone that is always on is the home phone and it has a recorder.
 
"Shopping" I recently saw a sketch a comedian did and he said your wife says "are you going shopping" and to every married man you understand this means "you are going shopping" and then when you are in the shop you get a message or call, can you get this that or the other! The problem with this haphazard shopping is men do not browse shop, men target shop, they go straight to the thing they want, in and out job done!
 
Just saw this:

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
So true! Except I've reached that stage at 43. I very, VERY rarely see 11 pm, for example, and quite rarely see 10 pm.
830-9 is my target bedtime. (Then again, I'm up at 5 to 530).
 

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