What's your best/worst joke?

[KitaYama]

I have a friend that when he texts me, it's full of emojis and very few words.
I need a Rosetta Stone to translate today’s Emojis. I don’t understand what most of them mean.

I had to sent him this as a response.

 

[Isaac]

View attachment 111757

This meme is so you, NG.

good one tho

 

[Isaac]

God decided it was time to make peace with Satan and proposes an energy exchange,
under which God would send down cold air to cool hell down a bit. Satan would send
up warm air to take the chill off. God keeps his side of the bargain but Satan does not.
If you don't keep your side of the bargain then I'll be forced to sue said God to Satan.

Well good luck with that said Satan, because I have all the judges and lawyers.

That is funny.

On a more serious note , lawyer jokes are my 'pet peeve'. Meaning a trivial thing in life that annoys or upsets me more than it would the average person, or that I have focused on.

Many people (the people who truly believe that about lawyers, for example), IMO demonstrate a major lack of thinking-it-through.
One of the cornerstones of our freedom and free way of life generally, is the criminal justice system, whereby if you are accused of a crime, you get the benefit of a presumption of innocence and all manner of details that constitute due process of law. This is NECESSARY in order to give us all the freedom and fairness we love so much.

Part of that system is something called the "adversarial system", which Dershowitz has written about extensively (and I'm sure there are a million books on the subject). It means a system whereby at trial (and peripheral activities), each party is represented by someone advocating for them and who is the adversary of the other party, 100%.

If that system ever fails, or begins to succumb to the "yeah-but-you-know-they-did-it-so-why-defend-them" sort of thinking, it chips away and chips holes in the purity and reliability of the system.

Defense lawyers, if they are 100% advocating for the rights of their client from the perspective of being exact adversary to the prosecutor, are NOT ONLY "doing their jobs". They're doing a job that we absolutely DEPEND on for freedom, fairness, and rule of law. There is no such thing as the "right result" or "right outcome". The right outcome is whatever occurs at the end of a perfectly executed process of fairness.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I have a friend that when he texts me, it's full of emojis and very few words.
I need a Rosetta Stone to translate today’s Emojis. I don’t understand what most of them mean.

I had to sent him this as a response.

View attachment 111760

Makes me contemplate archaeologists from the year 4500 who try to decipher the faded remnants of magnetic media containing backups of our mail files complete with emojis. I can see it now... "Look, this pile of poop in juxtaposition with an angry devil face. What do you think it means?"

 

[Isaac]

Makes me contemplate archaeologists from the year 4500 who try to decipher the faded remnants of magnetic media containing backups of our mail files complete with emojis. I can see it now... "Look, this pile of poop in juxtaposition with an angry devil face. What do you think it means?"

The way society is going, they'll probably consider the context of the era and assume we eventually turned to worshipping poop.

 

[Isaac]

Liberals Warn Harvard President Ouster Could Lead To Terrifying World Where People Are Held Responsible For Their Own Actions

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Liberals have voiced a collective warning following the ouster of Harvard President Claudine Gay, stating the removal could lead to a world where people are actually held responsible for their own poor choices.

babylonbee.com

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Liberals Warn Harvard President Ouster Could Lead To Terrifying World Where People Are Held Responsible For Their Own Actions

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Liberals have voiced a collective warning following the ouster of Harvard President Claudine Gay, stating the removal could lead to a world where people are actually held responsible for their own poor choices.

babylonbee.com

Oh, the shame! Oh, the horror! Oh, the ignominy of being held accountable for what you do! Who would EVER create such a devious plot?

 

[Cotswold]

Quiz time.
Can anyone think of one good thing about Switzerland?

Er, let me see.......Well the flag is a big plus.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Again, I am unable to provide the appropriate emoji in the list of "like" options. <groan>

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Again, I am unable to provide the appropriate emoji

 

[conception_native_0123]

Oh, the ignominy of being held accountable for what you do!

what did she do anyway? I've been hearing a lot about her and her departure but didn't get what happened.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Adam, she was extremely "woke" - more than many folks could endure, I guess. But two other issues stood out. Her dissertation contained information that was believed to be inappropriately attributed - "college-speak" for plagiarism. When she was questioned by Congress regarding incidents of anti-Semitism on campus, she was evasive on a yes/no type of question regarding whether certain acts would, in fact, be against college policy. She (in essence) refused to agree to an example of racism against a non-black group being called racism. I.e. two-faced.

 

[AccessBlaster]

what did she do anyway? I've been hearing a lot about her and her departure but didn't get what happened.

She was a diversity hire who got exposed as a useful idiot.

 

[conception_native_0123]

well then, I guess that's grounds for dismissal!

 

[AccessBlaster]

well then, I guess that's grounds for dismissal!

No, but she palegerized documents used in her hiring process, so there's that.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Personally, I think the college's board of directors was embarrassed by her evasive answers on antisemitism.

 

[conception_native_0123]

she palegerized documents used in her hiring process

now THAT is grounds for dismissal!

 

[AccessBlaster]

It would help if I spelled it correctly

 

[Isaac]

 

[Isaac]