Win a council house-FREE (1 Viewer)

[Rich]

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already
given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes,
courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now
the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport,
and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at
£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry
companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do
is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.

Few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown
Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local
law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of
thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain .

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the
world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to
phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of
lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost
you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somaliguerrillas...COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the
ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and
you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the
softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.

 

[statsman]

How about a 10 year mandatory jail term for persons landing on a country's shore having destroyed their documentation?
They had to have had them at one time or they would not have been allowed on the plane, ferry etc. A nice rat infested hotel fleabag would be a better place to keep them when they claim asylum.
No matter how bad things are in your home country, they're worse here.

 

[ColinEssex]

It would be funny if most of it wasn't true.

In the UK, we look after illegal foreigners in luxury yet care little about the elderly citizens dying of cold.
We care little about nearly 50% of people having no dental care at all.

Are you foreign? Come to the UK and the state will provide all for you.

Col

 

[Fifty2One]

Just get a lawyer to assist you in legally renouncing your citizenship and then apply for refugee status!

 

[statsman]

Just get a lawyer to assist you in legally renouncing your citizenship and then apply for refugee status!

We need regulations to close all the loopholes. For example, if you wish to renounce your (example, no slight intended) Albanian citizenship, you have to do it in Albania before you leave. You can't do it here.
Of course if you renounced you citizenship, no passport, no travel.

If you wish to claim status as a refugee as your life is in danger in your home country, you have to come from a country where such a problem exists. You can't claim refugee status just because life is better in one country than another.

 

[statsman]

It would be funny if most of it wasn't true.

In the UK, we look after illegal foreigners in luxury yet care little about the elderly citizens dying of cold.
We care little about nearly 50% of people having no dental care at all.

Are you foreign? Come to the UK and the state will provide all for you.

Col

You are aware the UK is one of the few countries where the "National Health" includes ANY dental care.

 

[ColinEssex]

You are aware the UK is one of the few countries where the "National Health" includes ANY dental care.

Dental care is not free on the NHS - you have to pay even if you are an NHS patient. Very few dentists even see NHS patients, most are private.

Col

 

[ColinEssex]

any treatment must be paid for, unless you're on benefits.

But not all benefits, only certain ones.

Obviously if you're a foreigner who came into the country strapped to the axle of a lorry then it'll be all free.

I have to go to the hygienist next week (as an NHS patient) for my routine visit, it will cost me £18 ($36)

Col

 

[statsman]

Dental care is not free on the NHS - you have to pay even if you are an NHS patient. Very few dentists even see NHS patients, most are private.

Col

You're lucky. I can't think of an hygenist in Canada who charges less than $50.00 per visit.

 

[oumahexi]

You're lucky. I can't think of an hygenist in Canada who charges less than $50.00 per visit.

Yes, but you probably have a medical aid that will cover most of that cost. We pay as much to National Insurance as you probably pay to your medical aid. We also have to pay per item on a prescription (or at least the English do), and that's £7 something per item. So if your ailment requires pain killers, cream and antibiotics you'll be looking at £21. Certain drugs are classed as two prescriptions - HRT for instance, there is one particular patch that looks like a figure 8 having two forms of hormone on it. Because there are two forms of hormone in the one patch they will charge you £14 for the prsecription! My theory on that, just give me the side that doesn't give me a beard!

In summary, the NHS has become a total rip off to those of us who can be bothered to crawl out of our cosy beds in the morning.

 

[ColinEssex]

You're lucky. I can't think of an hygenist in Canada who charges less than $50.00 per visit.

I can confirm I paid £18 for the hygenist last thursday. I had an extraction last March and it cost me £43 ($86)

Col

 

[Fifty2One]

£43 ($86) is a lot for a single extraction.
If you cheer for the wrong side in a Chelsea - Manchester match you can get all of them knocked out for free

I can confirm I paid £18 for the hygenist last thursday. I had an extraction last March and it cost me £43 ($86)

Col

 

[ColinEssex]

£43 ($86) is a lot for a single extraction.

That's the NHS price not private patient price.

Col

 

[Rich]

If you cheer for the wrong side in a Chelsea - Manchester match you can get all of them knocked out for free

yes and being the victim you'll get nothing from the law

 

[statsman]

yes and being the victim you'll get nothing from the law

Don't be silly Rich.
If YOU are the victim, YOU are the one the coppers will arrest.

 

[Rich]

Don't be silly Rich.
If YOU are the victim, YOU are the one the coppers will arrest.

Aint that the truth!

 

[Pat Hartman]

Are Americans accepted for Asylum? I'm thinking of running away from home. I can't afford to live here any more.

 

[Banana]

We need regulations to close all the loopholes. For example, if you wish to renounce your (example, no slight intended) Albanian citizenship, you have to do it in Albania before you leave. You can't do it here.
Of course if you renounced you citizenship, no passport, no travel.

If what I learned in my college days are still accurate, I understand that you can do so by going to a consulate/embassy of the said country, renounce citizenship, then walk out back into the country since you've already traveled there with a valid passport.

Furthermore, it varies by countries. In Cuba, for example, once someone leaves Cuba without visa, the citizenship is immediately revoked, hence a fair size of Cubans hanging around in Florida.

In other countries, (US is one of them, IINM) you may take an oath swearing your sole loyalty to another country but the home country won't do anything about it because you're still a citizen even if your oath requires that you break all allegiance with the home country.

To even complicate the situation, not all agree on how citizenship can be attained. Some insist citizenship on basis of bloodline; born to our parents? then you're a citizen. Others impose based on where you were born, and yet other do both.

The most memorable case study we had was Hamas and RE: Immigration Act, with Judge Sullivan in Canada. Basically, Hamas was a guy who was born at high seas and his mother, a stowaway, died giving birth to him. Because she was stowaway, nobody knew which country he should be from and therefore was stateless. As kid, he traveled a lot about African countries which were then under European control unfettered. But as he got older, the immigration officials progressively became more restrictive to a point where he was virtually imprisoned for indefinite term to a ship with no specific destination.

So, he got to Canada, and applied for an waiver to the Immigration Act and was granted a review. After arguing the case, Judge Sullivan agreed that immigration officials should not have such drastic power, even exceeding that of any other law enforcement and judicial officials which allows them to imprison someone due to unfortunate circumstances. But that was it. He didn't actually grant Hamas the waiver, so he was ordered to leave Canada to... ???

I'd bet that he's in that council house by now.

 

[oumahexi]

Are Americans accepted for Asylum? I'm thinking of running away from home. I can't afford to live here any more.

They are indeed Pat, unfortunately it's a completely different type of assylum if you want to leave America and come here

 

[PaulJR]

Are you foreign? Come to the UK and the state will provide all for you.

Col

Too right! Giving foreigners what they want helps keep crime down, sod everyone else.