Not like I'm taking this seriously, or that anything constructive could come out of responding to this list, but just because I feel like it...
How to get your political campaign funded by the Republican party:
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread exclusively by gays and is its own solution.
2. You have to believe that sex shouldn't be talked about by anyone anywhere except by a man and his wife on the first night of their honeymoon.
3. You have to believe that criminals should be punished for using a gun but that they should have a Constitutional right to obtain and carry one.
4. You have to believe that environmental problems are fantasies fabricated by ultra-liberals with an agenda.
5. You have to believe that the Constitution gaurantees your right to expression, but not for those who say and do things you don't like or aren't comfortable with.
6. You have to be against abortion but also be against sexual education, funding birth control and aiding single mothers.
7. You have to believe that all government intervention harms your liberty, but harm done by people and businesses will work itself out.
8. You have to believe that government should allow the market to freely regulate itself. Like in 1929.
9. You have to believe that those in poverty want to live that way or are too lazy to do anything about it since they had all the same opportunities you had.
10. You have to believe that it's good to spend $400 billion each year on protecting what we have but bad to spend $10 billion sharing what we have.
11. You have to believe the ACLU is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the NRA is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
12. You have to believe that it's good for a government to spend money now and cut taxes, thereby making your children pay the interest on it later, than to cut spending or raise taxes to pay for it now.
13. You have to believe that American history is more important than America presently.
14. You have to believe that racism is an excuse minorities use to maintain a sense of entitlement, but not that tax cuts and transfer payment reductions serve your own sense of entitlement.
15. You have to believe that socialism doesn't work. You have to believe all countries that all politically and socially stable and economically strong are capitalist democracies.
16. You have to believe that homosexuality didn't exist in the good old days, and that all homosexuals parade around in drag and have sex with animals. Oh, and children too.