FoFa said:
From Merriam-Webster
commitment - to put into charge or trust, to pledge or assign to some course or use
monogamy - marriage with but one person at a time
marriage - wedlock, ceremony, a close union
Way to pick whichever definition suits you best. Good job!
From the exact same source, ie. Miriam-Webster Online:
monogamy
1 archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime
2 : the state or custom of being married to one person at a time
3 : the condition or practice of having a single mate during a period of time
dan-cat said:
and thus divorce the concepts of sex and intimacy.
"Divorce" is a rather vague word to use here, but I would argue that sex and intimacy are two different things regardless of your behavior. They certainly correlate but are still distinct.
dan-cat said:
The two together are much better
I agree. However, since sex and intimacy are different experiences and emotions, human beings desire each seperately. Artificially forcing the two to occur simultaneously is, in my opinion, unhealthy.
dan-cat said:
Monogamy builds intimacy which builds strength of trust.
Perhaps, but intimacy and trust are not exclusive to monogamous relationships. In fact, I would argue that trust is much greater in non-monogamous because both partners allow the other sexual freedom, yet trust them to remain committed to the relationship. Monogamous relationships, on the other hand, are often very fearful of the partners' desires and unknown activities. (I'm don't mean to say that applies to
all monogamous relationships, but Tess's own testimony proves that such behavior does occur.)
dan-cat said:
These serve as solid foundations for one's offspring to flourish. If there are no dependants then perhaps it is not as important - I don't know.
That's a whole 'nuther can of worms. But I think many marriages would benefit from being less rigid sexually, which would translate into less stress on the marriage, which would mean less stress on the parents, which would mean less stress on the children.
Let me point out that I am not suggesting monogamy is bad or that non-monogamous relationships should be the norm. In fact, if monogamy is what comes natural to you and your partner, then that's what you should do. But if you desire to have sexual contact with people outside your relationship (as the great majority of people do at some point) but don't because you're afraid of what it would do to the relationship, then I would suggest you and/or your partner probably have unhealthy insecurities. If you don't want your partner to have a sexual experience with someone they're attracted to, ask yourself why.
dan-cat said:
Where are you getting the idea that the concept of marriage has broken down?
Look at divorce rates. Here's a citation for you:
"In America, divorce used to be difficult to obtain and, usually, impossible without good reason: adultery, abandonment, abuse, alcoholism. In 1880, according to the historian Robert L. Griswold, one marriage in 21-fewer than 5 percent-ended in divorce. Over time, there have been peaks and valleys in the divorce rate, such as the period immediately following World War II, when returning soldiers found things rather different from how they had left them, or were themselves tremendously changed by war. "But beginning in the mid-1960s," writes Griswold, the divorce rate "again began to rise dramatically, fueled by ever-higher marital expectations, a vast expansion of wives moving into the work force, the rebirth of feminism, and the adoption of 'no fault' divorce (that is, divorce granted without the need to establish wrongdoing by either party) in almost every state." Griswold continues, "The last factor, although hailed as a progressive step that would end the fraud, collusion, and acrimony that accompanied the adversarial system of divorce, has had disastrous consequences for women and children.'"[Powell, D. (2003) Divorce-on-Demand: Forget about Gay Marriage- What About the State of Regular Marriage? National Review, v55 i20. Retrieved June 9, 2004 from Expanded Academic ASAP.]
Marrriage, as an institution, is breaking down (at least in the United States).
I am in no-wise advocating a men-bashing thread for here on in. But women, although they make 75% of a man's wage... do have a lot of advantage in other arenas. And I THANK you guys for leaving us that. (Really, though... it's for your own good. LOL)
