One Liners; Tidbits; Wise Sayings (1 Viewer)

[Bodisathva]

oh yeah...let's not forget my signature.

translation: There is no medicine which cures stupidity

 

[Karma]

Never be afraid to speak your mind and be who you are. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. - Dr. Seuss

In a similar vein and perhaps a fore-runner to the above

They that approve a private opinion, call it opinion; but they that dislike it, heresy; and yet heresy signifies no more than private opinion, - Thomas Hobbes

 

[ColinEssex]

C'mon Col, be a sport. Give me something to add to my collection.

Ok, I've posted this before but I like it.

"Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat - sometimes you get pissed off"

Col

 

[ShaneMan]

Ok, I've posted this before but I like it.

"Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat - sometimes you get pissed off"

Col

Thanks. This did make me laugh.

 

[ShaneMan]

I remembered one that my brother-in-laws Dad would say when you would say, "if" to him. Like when we would play golf and you might say, "if I would have hit it a little harder I would be on the green." His come back would be, "If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt when he jumps."

 

[Bodisathva]

and as Scotty would reply, "Aye, an' if my Grandmother had wheels she'd be a wagon"

 

[Matt Greatorex]

'I'd never join any club that would have me as a member' - Groucho

'America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up' - Oscar Wilde

'One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards' - Oscar Wilde

'Sex between two people can be beautiful, you just have to get between the right two people' - Woody Allen

'An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do' - Dylan Thomas

'I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from' - Eddie Izzard

'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' - Douglas Adams

 

[ColinEssex]

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Col

 

[ShaneMan]

'I'd never join any club that would have me as a member' - Groucho

'America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up' - Oscar Wilde

'One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards' - Oscar Wilde

'Sex between two people can be beautiful, you just have to get between the right two people' - Woody Allen

'An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do' - Dylan Thomas

'I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from' - Eddie Izzard

'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' - Douglas Adams

Your on a roll Matt, keep 'em comin'

 

[ShaneMan]

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

Col

This one had a delayed response. I read it, sat for a second and then cracked up.

 

[ColinEssex]

"Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million."
Arnold Schwarzenegger


Col

 

[ShaneMan]

and as Scotty would reply, "Aye, an' if my Grandmother had wheels she'd be a wagon"

Hey Bodi, your from yankee land, your not suppose to be full of one liners.

 

[ColinEssex]

has this thread been hijacked yet?

Col

 

[ShaneMan]

has this thread been hijacked yet?
Col

No sir and I'm as happy as a puppy with two peckers

 

[ColinEssex]

A woman thinks it takes at least 2 people to keep a secret.

God gives you the food but doesn't tell you how to cook it

Col

 

[ShaneMan]

No sir and I'm as happy as a puppy with two peckers

Working on my db, (instead of doing my real job) listening to The Bands "I ain't got no home" and collecting one liners. All making a good Friday.

 

[ColinEssex]

Working on my db, (instead of doing my real job) listening to The Bands "I ain't got no home" and collecting one liners. All making a good Friday.

can you keep this thread on track please? its so annoying when it loses topic

Col

 

[ShaneMan]

can you keep this thread on track please? its so annoying when it loses topic
Col

Your right, thanks for the heads up.

Ok, another one from Grandpa. If he saw a less than attractive woman he would ask me, "how would you like to get drunk and wake up next to that?"

 

[dt01pqt]

In between self loathing and grandiose delusions is your average person

 

[Bodisathva]

"how would you like to get drunk and wake up next to that?"

agreed...that woman's got a face that'd make a train take a dirt road