Questions from women that put a shudder down mens spines

[Hayley Baxter]

"Trouble is my parents taught me not to lie"

How come your 10yrs old then?

Oh hang on a sec you've aged quite a bit since I last checked

 

[Vassago]

Yes, now those jokes are just stereotypical Hayley. I pictured you being more mature than to follow the stereotypical side of things.

I have to agree with Cosmos on this one though. THere are very obvious differences between women and men.

One thing that really makes me angry is how society looks at men and women. I saw a commercial the other night on TV where a man is sitting at a bar and a woman walks up and grabs his beer and drinks it. He looks at her and says, "Hey, that's my beer!" She looks at him and slaps him and says "You're all the same!" and walks off. Most people would consider this a funny commercial right? Now what if the man and woman switched places and it was the man who slapped the woman. No one would think this was funny, in fact, it would be probably never be aired because of the negative feedback from women and men alike.

On another note, the singer of a popular band here in the U.S. named Creed recently took his ex-wife to court for domestic assault. She beat him pretty badly, but he didn't touch her at all. I was listening to the radio when I heard about this and the DJ said that he was a p*ssy letting himself be beat like that. Many callers called in agreeing with the DJ saying he was a pathetic, one listener actually said he wasn't a man. Now come on people! I think he was more of a man for NOT hitting her. How can they be so hypocritical? These are the same people that would be throwing rocks at a man who defended himself against his wife and broke her arm while she was trying to beat him with a baseball bat. In conclusion, I think society doesn't look as strongly at domestic assault on men as they do on women. In fact, they are more likely to shrug off or have opposite feelings on them.

Sorry about the ranting, it just ticked me off.

Oh, and I have another line that just makes me laugh...

"I'm ready to go."

This does not mean she is ready to go.... This means that she WILL be ready, when she's done putting her make up on and picking out one pair of her dozens of pairs of shoes.

Vassago

 

[Rich]

How come your 10yrs old then?
Windows, keeps changing the date format

 

[Vassago]

Yeah, look at my profile, my first birthday is every day!!!

 

[Hayley Baxter]

Vassago I decided to give you a little lesson since you're only a day old I thought you could use the help

WOMEN'S SCORING SYSTEM

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

Simple Duties:

You make the bed….+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets….-1
You leave the toilet seat up….-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty….0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.…-1
When the Kleenex runs out, you use the next bathroom….-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings....+5
in the snow….+8
but return with beer….-5
and no liners….-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night….0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing….0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something….+5
You pummel it with a six iron….+10
it's her cat….-40

At a Party:

You stay by her side the entire party....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy….-2
named Tiffany….-4
Tiffany is a dancer….-10
with breast implants….-18

Her Birthday:

You remember her birthday….0
You buy a card and flowers….0
You take her out to dinner….0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
okay, it is a sports bar….-2
and it's all-you-can-eat night….-3
it's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors
of your favorite team….-10 (I personally might just allow that one since I'm a footy fan but most women are not)

A Night Out with the Boys:

Go with a pal….0
The pal is happily married….+1
The pal is single….-7
he drives a Ferrari….-10
with a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED….-15

A Night out with Her:

You take her to a movie….+2
You take her to a movie she likes….+4
You take her to a movie you hate….+6
You take her to a movie you like….-2
it's called Death Cop 3….-3
which features Cyborgs that eat humans….-9
you lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans….-15

Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression….0
You listen, for over 30 minutes….+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience….+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do
you think I should do"….-50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV….+100
she realizes this is because you have fallen asleep….-200

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable pot belly….-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly and exercise to get rid of it….+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts….-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."….-800

The Big Question:

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding….-10
You reply, "Where?"….-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"….-100
Any other response….-20

 

[Vassago]

I'm not a day old, I'm a year old. And no, I don't need pointers, I don't act like a stereotypical man. I LOVE cats!!!

How does the single woman get rid of roaches?
She asks them for a commitment.

What is worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

 

[ColinEssex]

Hi All

I didn't plan for this thread to be anti-female or anything like that Idjit - We had enough of that with Legion the other week.

Its just that because women and men seem to put more emphasis on different things like shopping for shoes (for example) where the woman will go to every shop and the man would get the first pair he sees. Thats the way it works.

Personally I like the idiocyncrasies that both sexes have - and because of the fact that (sometimes) if men get dragged out shopping - there are some questions that are put to them where the answer can be difficult.

As for the jokes - I personally love jokes about women or men - I think they are really good (nice jokes Hay.) I don't see it as anything offensive - its just a laugh.

We'll be at war soon so one wonders what that'll bring. The US has already shipped out 100,000 body bags to the Middle East. Its already dominating the TV - so I was just trying to be lighthearted.

Col


ps - why is it that women always leave the toilet seat down?

 

[Mile-O]

Iraqi Britney Spears

 

[Rich]

That's sad, Mile

 

[ColinEssex]

Mile-O

I think that some of your comments exceed the spirit with which I started this thread - there must be some specific websites where some of your comments would be more suitable.

Col

 

[Rich]

This is a public forum Mile, lets keep it to light hearted banter and within the bounds of moral decency!

 

[Mile-O]

#Deleted

 

[Vassago]

Yeah, let's just be glad to be rid of Legion. I didn't mean to offend anyone if I did. I love women! Truly I do!

 

[Mile-O]

I love women! Truly I do! He was just somebody from work!

I bet you were on your knees, begging pathetically when you said that!

 

[Autoeng]

I liked it Mile! You don't want to get me started on Iraq so I'll go now.

KEALGSEO

Autoeng

 

[Vassago]

lol @ Mile

 

[Rich]

Where on earth did the association with Iraq come from?

 

[George Bush]

What do you know about Iraq Rich????? Tell me!!!! Tell me!!!! I need some dirt...NOW!!!!!! If you don't tell me, I'm going to blame your family for the hiding of Osama Bin Laden!!!!

 

[Cosmos75]

Scoring System

Hayley Baxter,

I was wondering why women need a scoring system at all?

I don't think men as a whole try to keep score or remember what a woman did 5 years ago. Or am I wrong there? Any thoughts from men here?

Maybe women need to establish a "scientific" way to calculate their man's love for them (since men aren't always going to buy flowers or notice how nice the woman looks all the time) and men don't need to do that since they "know" how the women feels? (or they assume they do - until it's too late, i.e. never earned enough points!!).

Hopefully, we don't take this all too seriously, I wouldn't change TOO much about women!

 

[Hayley Baxter]

Cosmos

I personally don't think a scoring system is required, I was only having a laugh really. I do believe that everything should be split 50,50 in a relationship though.

Hay