What's your best/worst joke? (1 Viewer)

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What is pineapple pizza? Is that yellow things pineapple? How somebody can eat a sweet pizza?
I'm glad they don't sell it here.
 
Tera, I have tried a ham and pineapple pizza once or twice. They aren't terrible but they aren't great either. These days, though, my liver issue causes me to have issues with anything oily and the cheese typically used in pizza topping is not good for me. Causes digestive upsets,

When I was younger, pizza was my late-night friend at the Univ. of New Orleans grad-student labs. Now, once every three months is all I can do and even then I have to be careful.
 
Hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it! Pineapple & ham! Sweet, savoury and a bit smokey.
 
Micron said:
Hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it! Pineapple & ham! Sweet, savoury and a bit smokey.
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Just couldn't imagine a sweet pizza. Maybe I should give it a try first.
 
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Ham and pineapple is a popular pizza variety in Australia.
 
The_Doc_Man said:
Tera, I have tried a ham and pineapple pizza once or twice. They aren't terrible but they aren't great either. These days, though, my liver issue causes me to have issues with anything oily and the cheese typically used in pizza topping is not good for me. Causes digestive upsets,

When I was younger, pizza was my late-night friend at the Univ. of New Orleans grad-student labs. Now, once every three months is all I can do and even then I have to be careful.
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I'm sorry to hear you have health issues. I've been trying to stay away from high calorie foods for the last 4 months. I was getting fat and during the last checkup, I was told to be careful about my weight. (Every company here has to do a full checkup of all employees every year)
Sometimes I dream of having a pizzala or pizzahut.

This is my favorite. Pizzahut supreme.

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Tera said:
Just couldn't imagine a sweet a pizza. Maybe I should give it a try first.
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Well, I'm not sure if it's terribly sweet. Don't forget that there's some acid due to the tomato sauce, and then there's the ham, so the flavours mingle.

Due to the different cultures, it's entirely possible that what you'd get there would not be the same as in North America. Chefs/cooks from different countries sometimes bend the recipes a bit to satisfy the curiosity of residents without straying too far from regional preferences. I suppose an example of that might be Chinese food. NA Chinese food is apparently nothing like the real thing. Another case in point: we went on a cruise on an Italian ship. Great Italian food, but somebody needs to show them what a real steak is and how to cook it.

If you try pineapple and ham on pizza and don't like it, you'll have to try it again if you ever visit North America - just to be sure. :)
 
In the 70's my aunt from Ohio had only heard of tacos, never eaten one until visiting us in California.
 
I'm a fun of Mexican foods. Me and my wife enjoy going to all-you-can-eat Mexican restaurants for lunch.
I specially love Tacos&Rice.
this is a nearby restaurant.

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Mexican... another food that is off my list. Tera, my health issues are under control as long as I don't go crazy. Oddly enough, spicy / peppery food does not set me off. Good Szechuan cuisine is among my favorites. They stir-fry in light amounts of oil so I really enjoy it when I can get it. I'm just oil-sensitive or grease-sensitive. So Mexican food and I have a tenuous relationship. When my wife and I were visiting San Antonio, Texas, we ran into a restaurant chain I won't name, to avoid lawsuits. We walked in, bought a souvenir mug with the logo on it, and walked out the door. We could feel the grease in the air congealing on our skin it was so greasy. The food on the serving line was floating in oil or grease. We walked across the street to a cafeteria and just at something that probably had too much salt in it.

Grilled foods and stews (that get boiled) don't do much to me at all. So I just watch out for oil/grease and otherwise eat reasonably. I can splurge once or twice a month (tops) and not do much damage. But a real pizza party would knock me for a loop.
 
The_Doc_Man said:
my health issues are under control as long as I don't go crazy
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Glad to hear it. Please don't go crazy. Both of us are not at the age to risk our health.
As @Micron explained above, maybe it's because of our culture, most foreign restaurant adjust their receipts to our taste. No grease or fat in any kind of food here. We, Japanese, mostly stay away of oil and grease in our food. We believe it's not healthy. So it's very rare to see too much of it in any kind of food here, not only Mexican restaurant, nor others. So if someday I have the pleasure to meet you here, I know where to take you for a nice meal.

Edit : Maybe we have to start a new thread on food. I've gone too much off topic. Sorry.
 
True. Back to jokes, though it will be harder to keep away from food jokes in this context. Speaking of which....

South Louisiana has a reputation for spicy foods. Folks coming from other parts of the country are sometimes not ready for what we cook. One day, a family moved to south Louisiana from a northern state because the husband had an engineering degree and got hired & relocated by an oil firm. They were Catholic, so the parish priest invited himself to meet the newest members of his congregation over dinner. At the agreed-upon time, the priest arrived to find that the wife had cooked typical bland northern recipes. He anticipated this and brought out his little spice kit that include a small bottle of some really hot pepper sause, up in the 80,000+ Scoville units range. He sprinkled some on his food. The newcomers didn't know what to do so they added some to the food, too. The mother and father, being adults, managed to control their reactions to what they had done, but their young son was having more trouble. After a few minutes, he asked the priest if he could ask a question.

The priest said, "Of course, my son. What do you want to know?"

The boy asked, "Up north, the priests always talked about hellfire and brimstone and torment. Do you preach like that, too?"

The priest replied, "It is part of my job to teach about the perils of Hell. Why do you ask?"

The boy answered, "Well, the priests up north were always talking about torment, but you are the first one I ever met who carried samples."
 
Tera said:
What is pineapple pizza? Is that yellow things pineapple? How somebody can eat a sweet pizza?
I'm glad they don't sell it here.
Click to expand...
Tera,

My friends in the USA have driven over 35 miles or so, to a pizza parlour as their dessert pizzas are well renowned. :D
 
DEDUCTIVE REASONING

Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving"

New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly"

Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?"

New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?"

New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog."

Neighbor 1: "That is right"

New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family"

Neighbor 1: "Right again"

New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife"

Neighbor 1: "Correct"

New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual."

Neighbor 1: "Yup"

New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Cool"

Later that same day

Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door"

Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?"

Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job"

Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?"

Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University"

Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that"

Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a doghouse?"

Neighbor 2: "No"

Neighbor 1: "Fag."
 
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