What's your best/worst joke?

When I load the washing machine, I like to put the dish cloths in as well, to give them a freshen up. But sometimes, I look at them and see that they've got bits of food on them, sometimes a bit of egg. I was concerned that this might contaminate the washing. Then I realised, well, it's no different than one of my shirts!
 
As we say in the USA, it'll all come out in the wash.

(Though my wife swears that tomato sauce is an exception to that rule.)
 
The three words that men don't want to hear:........“Is that it?”
 
An airplane takes off and immediately crashes. An aggressive reporter rushes up to the airport manager and demands: "Why did you let that obviously unsafe plane take-off?"

Inspired by the song, Dirty Laundry.
 
Woody Harrelson joked about a supposed movie script, a clear metaphor for the "pandemic", that went:

“The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes and they won't need to go to work but will get paid their full salary. They can only go out if they wear masks and take the cartel’s drugs — and keep taking them — over and over, for ever. Well that is except for staff at supermarket and fastfood outlets, whose staff are all naturally immune.

Anyway I threw the script away. I mean, who is gonna believe that crazy idea?”
 
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Do you measure up?

 
Good one, Uncle G.

Not only had Bobby read the teacher's assignment, but Mary suffered from ... member envy.
 
Prove you are white!

 
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Looks like vegetable oil. Would have been great if it was old, black sump oil, (engine oil USA)

 

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