What's your best/worst joke? (9 Viewers)

[AccessBlaster]

purebread dog

 

[The_Doc_Man]

The fun must have been persuading the dog to NOT eat the bread as soon as they brought it to its face.

 

[Cronk]

The Welsh are known for having long complicated names.

Two police officers were responding to a report that a body was on the road. When they got there there was a dead man lying on the street. One cop asked the other how the street was spelt. Both didn't know how the street was spelt. So they carried the body around the corner where they could spell the street name.

 

[conception_native_0123]

So they carried the body around the corner where they could spell the street name.

I hate to say this, but I don't get it.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Adam, Welsh language names can be a bit much. If the incident occurred at the corner of Cwmrhydyceirw and Skokholm, which street name would you want to have to write down - if you weren't a Welshman yourself?

In New Orleans, a similar problem would be represented by having an incident at Jackson Avenue and Tchopitoulas Street. (Legit street names that actually exist and that intersect near the east bank of the Mississippi River, where Tchopitoulas is the street that parallels the river.)

 

[CJ_London]

 

[Cronk]

an incident at Jackson Avenue and Tchopitoulas Street.

Are there any statistics on incidents in those two streets?

 

[GaP42]

@Cronk - there was this one incident where someone with the handle @conception_native_0123 was found deadpan - right on the corner. The @The_Doc_Man was called but he said he did not have the right qualifications to do anything except record the street name - he looked at the sign and said eh! and walked away.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Oh, that's not true. I would at least have said goodbye to Adam before walking away. The "Eh!" part, however, might have been correct.

 

[conception_native_0123]

said goodbye to Adam

I feel the love! and thanks to all, I get the joke now.

 

[Cronk]

A guy was sentenced to prison. On his first day in the exercise yard, he noticed a group in one corner of the yard and every so often they burst out in laughter. He wandered over to the group and saw one of the group saying '53' and then there was spontaneous laughter. Someone else said '45' which also resulted in more laughter.

He asked the person next to him what was happening with the numbers and laughing and was told that because they had been in prison a long time, they all knew the jokes and each number stood for a different joke and it was quicker to tell the joke by the number.

The newbie asked if he could tell a joke. When he said '64' he was met with silence instead of laughter.

He asked if joke '64' was perhaps not funny and was told it was one of the funniest jokes.

Then he asked 'why isn't anyone laughing' to be told that it was one of the funniest jokes but it was not the joke but the way he told it.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Then he asked 'why isn't anyone laughing' to be told that it was one of the funniest jokes but it was not the joke but the way he told it.

Now THAT'S a tough audience.

 

[Cronk]

Hope others get it too!

 

[murphybridget]

Matter of opinion. Some of the Hee Haw jokes were actually quite funny, given that it was a show suitable for children (most of the time) and they had really cute actresses for some of the sketch comedy. Therefore, they snuck in more than a couple of "naughty" little double entendres. But the REAL benefit of Hee Haw was that usually once per show or sometimes every other show, Roy Clark would play his guitar. You didn't have to like country music because they did other things. There is a You Tube video you could look up in which Roy Clark plays that classical flamenco song "Malaguena" in a spectacular demonstration of complex fingering. They would also have guest artists whose abilities would blow you away if you understood music performance issues for that instrument. For instance, Glen Campbell was known as a singer, but he was a virtuoso guitarist too.

Roy Clark's guitar skills were incredible, and his rendition of "Malaguena" is a must-watch.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

There is a (possibly apocryphal) story about someone asking a famous rock guitarist how it felt to be the best guitarist in the world. He answered, "I don't know. Ask Roy Clark."

However, many years ago, a duo called "Los Indios Tabajares" rose to prominence. They were brothers from an indigent indigenous family in Brazil. They found a discarded guitar and learned to play it. The eventually attended the Julliard School of Music for guitar; one for lead and one for accompaniment. You can find some videos online if you look up their name. I can't find it at the moment, but there was a video when they were on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show in which they played "Flight of the Bumblebee" and it was a blown-away moment.

 

[conception_native_0123]

Flight of the Bumblebee

I can play that on the trumpet at reasonable speed.

 

[CJ_London]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I can play that on the trumpet at reasonable speed.

Though I can play a trumpet, I never fully developed proper embrochure and tongue technique. I switched to keyboards (organ) after only a couple of years of trumpet lessons and to be honest, never looked back.

 

[conception_native_0123]

never looked back

depending on how you look at it, you're not missing much.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

depending on how you look at it, you're not missing much.

I learned a lot more about music working with the multiple keyboards and pedalboard of the organ. Not to mention voicing and orchestration. So I agree with your assessment.