What's your best/worst joke?

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Philippa is a qualified croupier and often works in an exclusive club where gamblers pay top money to play roulette all day and poker at night.:whistle:
 
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I'm not interested in religion, and I don't know why I had bookmarked this.
Before deleting the link, I thought someone may find it funny too.

 
George Carlin was always ready to deflate any over-inflated egos and reputations. We miss you, George.
 
Nigel Farage was furious the other day because someone snipped all of the pull-tabs off his lunch.

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For the Accessers in the USA. Nigel Farage was a European MP involved in Brexit. He spends most of his time making bullets for others to fire and is a big buddy of your favourite ex Pres Don Trump. Appears to enjoy a frequent drink and in his one hour TV show on GBNews he actually manages to go for just half an hour without a drink. He then spends another half an hour, basically drinking at work.
 
Cotswold said:
Nigel Farage was furious the other day because someone snipped all of the pull-tabs off his lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the Accessers in the USA. Nigel Farage was a European MP involved in Brexit. He spends most of his time making bullets for others to fire and is a big buddy of your favourite ex Pres Don Trump. Appears to enjoy a frequent drink and in his one hour TV show on GBNews he actually manages to go for just half an hour without a drink. He then spends another half an hour, basically drinking at work.
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"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process." - E.B. White
 
A Guy was racing past a farm and ran over a sheep. He stopped and went to the farmhouse.
He told the farmer's wife about it and she said :
"that is very bad for us, the breeding season has just started and that was our best Tup"

The driver feeling that he should put matters right replied:
"I feel really bad about this and I am prepared to replace him"

"Well if you insist, the sheep are in the field behind the barn" She replIed.
 
KitaYama said:
I'm not interested in religion, and I don't know why I had bookmarked this.
Before deleting the link, I thought someone may find it funny too.

Click to expand...

Objectively, if I detach from my own opinions and everyone else's for a moment, it's really not that funny - because "but of course" an organization spreading the word needs money (money is the way we support anything, no matter how powerful or knowing it is, but the cause of organizing people to learn or benefit from it) ....... and it makes sense that there is a Hell but God loves us, because truth is stranger than fiction, and why in the world does the way things are have to make 'sense' to us?? It doesn't make sense to me that there is a fiery ball in the sky that warms us, or that we are born by plopping out of someone legs, either, and yet there it is today, the sun, and here I am, previously plopped, just as it/I was yesterday!

Also objectively, yeah - that video is so funny I laughed out loud, more than once! Thanks for posting.

PS, I'm not sure why anyone would choose to go to Hell, but I'm glad God respects our choice, makes life more beautiful than if we were robots.
If I were a Creator, I can definitely see creating Dogs and Humans. Dogs are my pet, they have no will, they will auto-love me. Humans are much more precious to me, as they can choose to go either way. To me that actually does make sense - but that doesn't matter, whatever IS is more important for its is-ness than for whether or not it makes sense to my flawed, biased, limited mind. In fact I have some days where virtually nothing makes sense to me.

But I know I came from someone, because things cannot come into being from nothing.

PS I was reflecting today about how devoutly my parents have believed all their lives that you can pray for healing from God - dont' always get it but always trust God for it - and how he is so much healthier than all his brothers and sisters - Praise God! He shows Himself everywhere.

The only successful organization without being financially supported (to any measurable amount) that I've ever seen is Alcoholics Anonymous.
Then again, all their principles come from Christianity! :sneaky:
 
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Cotswold said:
A Guy was racing past a farm and ran over a sheep. He stopped and went to the farmhouse.
He told the farmer's wife about it and she said :
"that is very bad for us, the breeding season has just started and that was our best Tup"

The driver feeling that he should put matters right replied:
"I feel really bad about this and I am prepared to replace him"

"Well if you insist, the sheep are in the field behind the barn" She replIed.
Click to expand...

Our "like/dislike" icons don't include a groan or perhaps a "roll eyes" option. The only other thing I can say about this joke is "bahhhh"
 
Isaac said:
But I know I came from someone, because things cannot come into being from nothing.
Click to expand...

First, look up the Physics term "Spontaneous pair production."

Second, you come from one sperm cell and one egg cell. Which is ALMOST nothing. And if you consider that they grew from nutrients in the body, they started existence as loose proteins which came from loose nutrient molecules. So that is pretty close to nothing.
 
The_Doc_Man said:
First, look up the Physics term "Spontaneous pair production."

Second, you come from one sperm cell and one egg cell. Which is ALMOST nothing. And if you consider that they grew from nutrients in the body, they started existence as loose proteins which came from loose nutrient molecules. So that is pretty close to nothing.
Click to expand...
Something never has and never will come from nothing.
Spontaneous is a fun word for "I don't know". And if the physics people invented it , well that's jolly for them.
 
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