On a more positive note...

[dan-cat]

If 'boys by definition cannot be old' is true how can the phrase 'old boy' be valid

 

[Rich]

If 'boys by definition cannot be old' is true how can the phrase 'old boy' be valid

It's slang used by toffs

 

[dan-cat]

It's slang used by toffs

By your surviving aristocracy you mean? God bless 'em

 

[Rich]

By your surviving aristocracy you mean? God bless 'em

If you mean Her Majesty The Queen (god bless her) then no that's not who I mean

 

[KenHigg]

If you mean Her Majesty The Queen (god bless her) then no that's not who I mean

Shouldn't that be 'Sun bless her'?

 

[Rich]

Shouldn't that be 'Sun bless her'?

The Sun has blessed her but I don't read that paper/comic

 

[dan-cat]

Aren't two of her grandchildren old boys

 

[Rich]

Aren't two of her grandchildren old boys

Only as seen by the toffs who wish to be associated with their prestige

 

[ColinEssex]

It's slang used by toffs

Its odd that Ken used it then - America by its very nature has no class structure. . . . . . or do they. . . . . . maybe Ken is a hybrid he's certainly a one-off

edit - wern't the Kennedy's treated as royalty?

Col

 

[dan-cat]

Its odd that Ken used it then

Nah, not really, his ancestors probably picked it up from some high-ranking redcoat. The ones we sent back to that nut-job of a monarch you had at the time,what was his name, oh yes King George III (God bless 'em )

 

[KenHigg]

Nah, not really, his ancestors probably picked it up from some high-ranking redcoat. The ones we sent back to that nut-job of a monarch you had at the time,what was his name, oh yes King George III (God bless 'em )

I believe the proper word for it is porphyria. Link

porphyria

n : a genetic abnormality of metabolism causing abdominal pains and mental confusion

Which may explain R&C

 

[KenHigg]

George Carlin's New Rules For 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is?doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is?supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

.
.
.
.

 

[Vassago]

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is?doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is?supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

.
.
.
.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/newrules.asp

I knew I recognized some of these. They weren't George Carlin, they were Bill Maher from Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. How come Carlin gets credit for so much stuff he doesn't write?

 

[KenHigg]

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/newrules.asp

I knew I recognized some of these. They weren't George Carlin, they were Bill Maher from Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. How come Carlin gets credit for so much stuff he doesn't write?

Guess I was looking at the content instead of credit... Guess it was the first name that came to who-ever plagiarized it.

 

[KenHigg]

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best
friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you
love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've
never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute
of happiness you'll never get back.

.....

 

[Rich]

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best
friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you
love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've
never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute
of happiness you'll never get back.

 

[Worley]

Finally!

 

[Rich]

Finally!

But who will educate you guys on the real world?

 

[Worley]

But who will educate you guys on the real world?

Have you ever heard of NMS or Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome, lol?

"A state of mental confusion & excitement characterized by disorientation for time & place, usually with illusions & hallucinations.
-->Dementia Irrecoverable deteriorative mental state, with absence or reduction of intellectual facilities<--, due to organic brain disease. Mental disorder characterized by excessive excitement, -->delusions of grandeur<--, elevation of mood, psychomotor over activity and -->overproduction of ideas<--."
(I put the --> and the <-- in there)

The bad news is you need help, the positive note is...it explains SO much. Just kidding Rich, I am sure your fine...

 

[Rich]

Have you heard of a guy called Bush, he read the bible twice and then decided to invade Iraq. What's the term for that disfunction?