What's your best/worst joke? (2 Viewers)

I knew a couple who named their Rottweiler Jesus. Real interesting when he would get loose and they would call after him...
 
Which reminds me of the story of the woman arrested for soliciting prostitution late one night. At the arraignment hearing the next day, the judge asked her what she was doing. She replied, "I was calling my dog." The judge, finding that a bit difficult to understand, asked her to explain. She replied, "My dog got out late last night when we let him out to do his business. He ran from the apartment to Bourbon Street and I followed him. I started calling for him." The judge thought for a while and finally said, "I still don't know why you were arrested. What exactly were you doing?" She said, "I don't understand either. My dog's name Tizzy 'cause he's so active he's always in a Tizzy. But we shortened his name. I was just calling him like I always do... Here Tiz, Here Tiz, Here Tiz."
 
Related to the story about the Rottweiler. The story goes (I think I heard it told as a true story), that a burglar broke into a house late at night. Coming into the house it was very dark. He heard a voice say "I see you and Jesus sees you", startled the burglar did not know what to think. He took a couple more steps and he heard the voice again, "I see you and Jesus sees you", now his curiosity got the better of him. He found a light switch an turned it on. In the room he saw a parrot and underneath the parrot cage, he saw a large dog. Then the parrot says "I see and Jesus sees you, Jesus sic him".
 
topical groaners

Hannibal Lecter: "Never mind, when the food runs out we've still got each other".

Breaking news: The World Health Organisation has determined that dogs cannot catch the Corona Virus Disease Covid-19 so all dogs that have previously been quarantined are now being released. To be clear - WHO let the dogs out.

Apparently in Germany they are preparing for further crises by stock-piling sausage and cheese. This is a Wurst Kase scenario.
 
It's not a joke. But it made me laugh, years ago when I first read it.


I had a problem, I decided to write a program to solve that.
Now I have 1 problem, 9 errors And 12 warnings.
 
CJ_London said:
Breaking news: The World Health Organisation has determined that dogs cannot catch the Corona Virus Disease Covid-19 so all dogs that have previously been quarantined are now being released. To be clear - WHO let the dogs out.
Click to expand...
Just in case you've forgotten the original version. oh......How much I loved this song.

 
CJ_London said:
Hannibal Lecter: "Never mind, when the food runs out we've still got each other".
Click to expand...
bloody-disgusting.com

The Hilarious ‘Silence of the Lambs’ Joke You Missed…

This morning I was reading up on Oscar wins for Jonathan Demme’s 1991 The Silence of the Lambs, and that’s when I came across a shocking discovery. While I’m sure a few of you smart-asses (I say that with love) already know this, I literally had no idea that Hannibal Lecter’s infamous quote, “I...
bloody-disgusting.com bloody-disgusting.com
 
I hope someone gets back in that dam Delorean and fixes this mess!!!!!!!

1586620404610.png
 
If I wore one of those masks on my daily walk, every dog in my neighborhood would be my friend. So much for social distancing.
 
this might not be the best joke in the world, but it is certainly worth a peek:

 
I know some folks who would LOVE to have one of those around.
 
Hey ab that video has been around for quite some time I've seen it many times over at this point. Especially the portion of the woman getting out of the hot tub and tripping it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

jwcolby54
VBA and ChatGPT
2 3
Replies
43
Views
4,943
GPGeorge
GPGeorge
J
Interesting artical about what government can and can't do. It's a bit longish, but worth the read.
2
Replies
38
Views
4,987
AccessBlaster
A
The_Doc_Man
Having a brain cramp
Replies
19
Views
2,226
Marshall Brooks
M
Isaac
The Reason for Christmas
Replies
4
Views
1,121
NauticalGent
NauticalGent
Isaac
Becoming Free
2
Replies
25
Views
3,670
Galaxiom
G

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 3 (members: 0, guests: 3)
Back
Top Bottom