jaismith08
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Haha this thread is really cool. keep it going.
What's your best/worst joke?
- Thread starter Fornatian
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Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure - Translated as only they can
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
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WINDOWS: Please enter your new password:
USER: “cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: “boiled cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: “1 boiled cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: “50bloodyboiledcabbages”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: “50BLOODYboiledcabbages”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: “50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: “ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow”
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
USER: “cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: “boiled cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: “1 boiled cabbage”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: “50bloodyboiledcabbages”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: “50BLOODYboiledcabbages”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: “50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!”
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: “ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow”
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Dick7Access
Dick S
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That made me laugh hard
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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
-Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech..
Every now and then she stops to breathe..
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give back his diamonds.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things
that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to
work its way through Congress
- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.As you grow older,
it will avoid you..
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at eighty.. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out way before you get there.
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
-Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech..
Every now and then she stops to breathe..
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give back his diamonds.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things
that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to
work its way through Congress
- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.As you grow older,
it will avoid you..
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at eighty.. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out way before you get there.
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
- Local time
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- 17,100
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
"God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
"God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
Groundrush
Registered User.
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Monastery Life
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies or centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "W e missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies,
"The word was...
CELEBRATE!!!"
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies or centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "W e missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies,
"The word was...
CELEBRATE!!!"
Rx_
Nothing In Moderation
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You would think thing on sexism would have gotten better over the years her in the US. But, given the bad economy it appears to have gone downhill.
A young lady I know just graduated from college and was anxious to get into the job market. She applied to a firm and was excited to get an interview.
The senior manager, a male, personally interviewed her.
He told her, "Let me get to the point."
"Can you make a good pot of coffee and serve it with a smile?"
Let me tell you, she was not about to put up with that kind of thing.
She walked right out of that Starbucks!
A young lady I know just graduated from college and was anxious to get into the job market. She applied to a firm and was excited to get an interview.
The senior manager, a male, personally interviewed her.
He told her, "Let me get to the point."
"Can you make a good pot of coffee and serve it with a smile?"
Let me tell you, she was not about to put up with that kind of thing.
She walked right out of that Starbucks!
Rx_
Nothing In Moderation
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Education in US Culture Difference for those across the pond:
One of the many differences between the northern and southern states is the style of introductions.
For example, the northern introduction to a child's fairy tale is, "Once upon a time...” while the south introduction would be, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t!!"
One of the many differences between the northern and southern states is the style of introductions.
For example, the northern introduction to a child's fairy tale is, "Once upon a time...” while the south introduction would be, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t!!"
Surely the word would have been "CELIBRATE" if the only thing wrong was the missed R?
Steve R.
Retired
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In the TV series Futurama, a brain slug attaches to Fry's head to feed on his brain (waves) and dies of starvation.
Last edited:
Rx_
Nothing In Moderation
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Every Futurama episode starts with a unique on-screen subtitle when the Planet Express ship flies through the Futurama logo. And these are the first half of them:
I have used a few of them as my signature before. Yes, one of them references Microsoft.
I have used a few of them as my signature before. Yes, one of them references Microsoft.
Code:
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV01"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV01[/COLOR][/URL]] IN COLOR
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV02"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV02[/COLOR][/URL]] IN HYPNO-VISION
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV03"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV03[/COLOR][/URL]] AS SEEN ON TV
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV04"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV04[/COLOR][/URL]] presented in BC [Brain Control] where available
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV05"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV05[/COLOR][/URL]] Featuring GRATIOUS ALIEN NUDITY
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV06"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV06[/COLOR][/URL]] LOADING..
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV07"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV07[/COLOR][/URL]] PRESENTED IN DOUBLE VISION (WHERE DRUNK)
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV08"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV08[/COLOR][/URL]] Mr. Bender's Wardrobe by ROBOTANY 500
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season1#1ACV09"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV09[/COLOR][/URL]] Condemned by the Space Pope
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#1ACV10"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV10[/COLOR][/URL]] Filmed On Location
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#1ACV11"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV11[/COLOR][/URL]] Transmitido en Martian en SAP
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#1ACV12"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV12[/COLOR][/URL]] -=PROUDLY MADE ON EARTH=-
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#1ACV13"][COLOR=#0066cc]1ACV13[/COLOR][/URL]] LIVE FROM OMICRON PERSEI 8
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV01"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV01[/COLOR][/URL]] MADE FROM MEAT BY-PRODUCTS
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV02"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV02[/COLOR][/URL]] >>NOT Y3K COMPLIANT<<
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV03"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV03[/COLOR][/URL]] FROM THE MAKERS OF FUTURAMA
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV04"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV04[/COLOR][/URL]] Based on a true Story
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV05"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV05[/COLOR][/URL]] From the network that brought you "The Simpsons"
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV06"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV06[/COLOR][/URL]] Not Based On the Novel by James Fenimore Cooper
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV07"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV07[/COLOR][/URL]] THE SHOW THAT WATCHES BACK
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV08"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV08[/COLOR][/URL]] Nominated For Three Glemmys
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV09"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV09[/COLOR][/URL]] This Episode Has Been Modified To Fit Your Primitive Screen
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV10"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV10[/COLOR][/URL]] COMING SOON TO AN ILLEGAL DVD
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV11"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV11[/COLOR][/URL]] As Foretold by Nostradamus
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV12"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV12[/COLOR][/URL]] A Stern Warning of Things to Come
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV13"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV13[/COLOR][/URL]] SIMULCAST ON CRAZY PEOPLE'S FILLINGS
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV14"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV14[/COLOR][/URL]] LARVA-TESTED, PUPA-APPROVED
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV15"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV15[/COLOR][/URL]] FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season2#2ACV16"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV16[/COLOR][/URL]] PAINSTACKINGLY DRAWN BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#2ACV17"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV17[/COLOR][/URL]] TOUCH EYEBALLS TO SCREEN FOR CHEAP LASER SURGERY
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#2ACV18"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV18[/COLOR][/URL]] SMELL-O-VISION USERS INSERT NOSTRIL TUBES NOW
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#2ACV19"][COLOR=#0066cc]2ACV19[/COLOR][/URL]] Not a Substitute for Human Interaction
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV01"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV01[/COLOR][/URL]] Secreted by the Comedy Bee
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV02"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV02[/COLOR][/URL]] IF NOT ENTERTAINING; WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV04"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV04[/COLOR][/URL]] BROADCAST SIMULTANEOUSLY ONE YEAR IN THE FUTURE
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV05"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV05[/COLOR][/URL]] Now With Chucklelin
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV06"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV06[/COLOR][/URL]] TORN FROM TOMORROW'S HEADLINES
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV07"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV07[/COLOR][/URL]] 80% ENTERTAINMENT BY VOLUME
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV08"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV08[/COLOR][/URL]] DECIPHERED FROM CROP CIRCLES
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV09"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV09[/COLOR][/URL]] PLEASE RISE FOR THE FUTURAMA THEME SONG
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV11"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV11[/COLOR][/URL]] Bender's Humor by [FONT=Times New Roman]Microsoft Joke[/FONT]
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV13"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV13[/COLOR][/URL]] FEDERAL LAW PROHIBITS CHANGING THE CHANNEL
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV14"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV14[/COLOR][/URL]] FOR PROPER VIEWING, TAKE RED PILL NOW
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season3#3ACV15"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV15[/COLOR][/URL]] NO HUMANS WHERE PROBED IN THE MAKING OF THIS EPISODE
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4#3ACV19"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV19[/COLOR][/URL]] FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY EXCEPT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4#S04E02"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV03[/COLOR][/URL]] THIS EPISODE PERFORMED ENTIRELY BY SOCK PUPPETS
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4#S04E03"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV18[/COLOR][/URL]] Hey, TiVo! Suggest THIS!
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4#S04E04"][COLOR=#0066cc]4ACV03[/COLOR][/URL]] WHEN YOU SEE THE ROBOT, DRINK!
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4#S04E05"][COLOR=#0066cc]4ACV02[/COLOR][/URL]] IT'S LIKE 'HEE HAW' WITH LASERS
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4/#S04E06"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV10[/COLOR][/URL]] KRAFTED WITH LUV[SIZE=1] BY MONSTERS
[/SIZE][[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4/#3ACV17"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV17[/COLOR][/URL]] PSST... BIG PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE AFTER THE SHOW
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4/#3ACV20"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV20[/COLOR][/URL]] PLEASE TURN OFF ALL CELL PHONES AND TRICORDERS
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4/#S04E09"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV21[/COLOR][/URL]] LOVE IT OR SHOVE IT
[[URL="http://www.gotfuturama.com/Information/EpisodeGuide/Season4/#S04E10"][COLOR=#0066cc]3ACV16[/COLOR][/URL]] SCRATCH HERE TO REVEAL PRIZE
Dick7Access
Dick S
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[FONT="]A friend of mine who works with the Eskimo's up near the north poles got in the habit of sitting on blocks of ice. Sure enough, now he has polaroids.[/FONT]
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper, frown and say: "That's not it."
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier examined.
A military psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army and handed it to the soldier, who picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier examined.
A military psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army and handed it to the soldier, who picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
Frothingslosh
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I'd post a joke about ebola, but none of you will probably get it.
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